Hey darl, Thankfully I do have fantastic IL's BUT i do know how you feel i've had to deal with people being like this. The only suggestion that I can give you is to sit her down and set her straight. You need to nip this in the bud now before bubs comes because I can tell you now she will take over EVERYTHING, from taking bubs to be changed when her/his nappy is dirty to bathing etc.. and that for me would drive me friggin mental. I would just sit her down and say although you appreciate the sentiment she needs to consult with you first. You have told her what you want and don't want and she doesn't seem to listen. Yes she is a grandmother and probably very excited as your dp is her only child therefore only grandchild but that doesn't mean she can just take over. This is YOUR child, she had the opportunity to raise her child the way she wanted now it's your turn. I hope it all works out, I know how bloody frustrating it can be