Dusty- thank so much for your thoughtful, caring and wise words.
It continues to surprise me how much support I can find here on an internet site. It has helped me through so far, and I think it's also helping me grow as a person and understand many different situations, beyond my own. I am finding the Stephanie Dowrick book to be really good, but I know it takes time and self discipline to implement changes in the way I think/view things. I tend to be an obsessive person and have seen a psych for issues related to that before, so I know that with dedication I can master my thought processes, and hopefully find a less bumpy road through this. Given your long and difficult journey, I think you do amazingly well and admire your strength.
Cadence- thanks for your support and kind thoughts. I appreciate it
also, as for my old due date approaching next week, I read in a book on miscarriage last night, that sometimes it helps to still do something to mark that day and celebrate the soul that was with me, however briefly...so I think I will do that.
just sending you a BIG hug, next time. my sis says to me when i look back on this time, i'll understand more? who knows if she's right but it makes me feel a bit better. vent away. and good luck for next cycle. xo
Really sorry to hear that It is so very dissappointing having a cycle cancelled. Can you perhaps ask your clinic if they could try an antagonist cycle with you? The advantage it that it is a very short cycle as you don;t have to take the pill before hand, their are a few threads about these cycles on BB.
With the due date I've heards that releasing some balloons or another sign of hope can help to overcome sadness on those days. With my own lost baby I didn't do anything on the due date but a few months later went for a weekend in a retreat and meditated at a river with some flowers which the current carried away.
big big hug!
I'm so sorry for your cycle being cancelled. I had my first cycle cancelled and I know how devastating it is...
I know it's hard, but try to be positive. Things will always happen to us when we have patience and positive attitude!.
I wish all the best for you next time. Is your FS considering an antagonist cycle?
Dear Possums, You really are having a bad run of it. I'm so sorry to hear that this cycle hasn't been successful. I understand that life is just going through the motions so you can keep your head above water. Pat yourself on the back for that and if you have to take a mental health day to lie under the doona and sleep - this it the perfect weather for it.
've seen your posts on this website and you do seem so caring to others and very generous with your support. So you have our support now. Be very kind to yourself. Let yourself grieve. But don't let the horrible days win. You are too special to be beaten by this journey. Talk to your FS and ask the hard questions - have them written down before hand and if you don't understand anything, make sure you ask. Are they doing enough for you? Are they monitoring you enough? Are the dosages correct - can they be modified?
DH and I weren't given the best advice and I felt that, I too, was drowning in the big black hole with no way out. We asked the hard questions and our FS just didn't seem to provide the information we needed. We also felt that we were in her too hard basket and bringing the stats down. We actually felt she was trying to move us on. Still feel v. angry toward her. We found a new clinic and I have gone to a new acupuncturist and we are really glad we made the change. But this is just my experience.
Best wishes to you. And all the very best to you and your DH.
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