No your not crazy, your human....
You will get though this - I went through something similar with a very close friend - I did feel everything you have explained and I hated myself for it. I really wanted to be happy but I was broken on the inside. I didnt avoid her & she never knew how I felt, I just put on a brave face.
I think we have to go through the different motions at times with IVF - it doesnt make you a bad person.
The thing that suprised me was when my fiend had her baby I was so happy and I spoilt her and the baby like crazy.
Stay strong, people dont understand and thats not their fault either - they wish they could.
We are all here for you. xx