Oh roller, you are neither silly or crazy! I fact, I have so much admiration for you hun, I think it would be awful to be trying for so long with no luck. And even harder with other pg women and little babies. I can understand the hurt you are feeling about not being able to meet your brother's baby, it would be extremely hard. Especially as they weren't even planning it, whereas you've been planning every snif, jab and poke. It's simple hun, unless you've been through IVF you will never understand what it's all about. I wish no one had to go through it. In your brother and SIL's case, I think it was pretty insensitive to announce their happy news to you in front of everyone else. They should have told you in private. I would have definitely appreciated it that much more. Some people don't think, some are just insensitive, they are not tuned into what we are going through, to get what they obviously are able get so easily, and without trying!! It's just not fair. I wish you all the luck in the wold with this cycle hun. I really hope it's going to be a nice BFP for you. Big hugs hunni and stay strong! Human spirit is hard to break and we are much, much stronger than we think .