I'm from a conservative, mixed middle-eastern & european jewish background. I often visit elderly women from very religious backgrounds who in the past had strictly observed religious laws and customs. Now that they were older, all of them expressed the view that observance was not so important. They felt it was far more important to respect other peoples choices to do what they want, to treat others in the way they would like themselves to be treated and that family ties should be cherished. For non-jewish readers, Judaism is not one homegenous grouping; there are many differences based on geographic origins, politics, ideology and the degree to which one wants to conform with family and friends. It seems that many of you are looking for something that will fulfill your lives and thats great, but please remember it has to be good for both you, your partner and children. Just because there is a biblical law or some custom of unknown origin that was appropriate in the past, that you should do it as well. Basically, do what makes you happy, there is no one right way to do something.