I have to say I agree with some of the PP. "Upstairs" can feel a long way away for a six year old. My own eight year old wouldn't like it. The other thing is as a child of seperated parents she does have some "special needs" around feeling secure. Not sure how long ago your DH and her biological mum seperated - or the circumstances around it - but it is a big thing for a little one to go through. Not only that but if she is at your place at least three nights a week that may be increasing her feelings of insecurity (sorry, I am not someone who believes shared care works very well for children - especially young ones). Then, to top all this off, she has a new sibling to contend with or, more precisely, daddy has a new little baby - one who gets to stay with him all the time. I imagine the poor little thing feels very displaced. Even if she is not outwardly jealous, she will no doubt be a little upset about yet another big change in her life.
Maybe try seeing things from her point of view.
Also, I worry a little bit about your comment - "She has taken time away from OUR reletionship on the nights she stays". That's not a healthy way to look at it. He is her father. You are his partner. She is not your competition. She sees him three nights a week. You see him seven. You are an adult. She is a child. Sorry to be so blunt but a parent/child relationship is forever and I think you should be very, very thankful that he is such a caring, doting father. A lot here on BB would give their right arm for a man so engaged in their children's lives.
That said, I know it's hard. I have been on both sides of this fence. I was the wicked stepmother for nine years (I no longer get to see the little boys I brought up), and now my DD has her own wicked stepmother. Except, in DD's case, her SM really is wicked. It kills me having to pick up the pieces each fortnight when she comes home from a contact visit upset at some petty act of jealousy, vindictiveness and insecurity her SM has subjected her to.
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