Hi Girls,
Just popping in to say Hi. Welcome Loops12, get it all out girl.
Congratulation to Loula!!!!! Yeahhhhhh.
AFM: Am philisophical today. Probably spelt that wrong! And want to get a few things down. Bit serious!
Anyway, have had last transfer ever last week. Not hopeful, but who knows really.
Decided earlier in the year that Jan was my last stim cycle. Had 8 froz left and decided after last trf last month that I couldn't stand it any more.
Am 43 and want to start feeling like a young 43 instead of a very old 43. Have gorgeous daughter, so apprecitate her now.
This is one last hurrah, thawed all 8, lost 4 in thaw (that never happened before, one of the reasons has been hard to give up was that I always got good egg numbers and lost very few - too good, OHSS 4 times). 4 grew on to blasts. 2 in, 2 in bin.
I found keeping the basal body temperature chart very good, only discovered that this year after 3.5 years IVF from my chinese doc, gave a sense of control/ certainty.
Found chinese yukky herbs very good, made me feel stronger and regulated my progesterone, could see it clearly in the temp charts when we got it right.
Went to the IVF councellor, very good to just get it all out. Went to the Carers councellor the same week, was getting so depressed, as my Dad slowly disappearing with alzheimers.
Very good booklet about loss, realised that I am also part carer for deaf husband. Loss of how you expected your life to be and dealing with ongoing loss of his hearing. And of course loss of the many children I wanted. And we lost most of our business and lifestyle this year. Tough year actually.
So I have already finished the self inflicted flagelation of IVF. Good. Get my head around that. I've grieved so many times that once the result is known I'll either be ecstatic or just relieved. Blood test next Mon.
Trying to keep my head on until then. Maybe in 6 months will be able to see what I learned from the process. It all works out inthe end, if it's not workign out, its not the end!
Yeahhhhhh.
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