Hi Girls
I'm so glad I stubbled across this thread...I was starting to think I was alone in this 'battle of the preg's'. My DH and I have been TTC for 8 years and have always got through all the preg announcements and births by removing ourselves from it all...how horrible am I??? I have been to a hospital once to see a new born and that was my niece and the only reason I was able to go was because I'd set myself a goal...my sis in law had announced the preg by phoning me on my birthday...'the news' was my present...so she said? Anyways...so I set this goal to lose 20kg before the birth...and I did it! I hadn't seen any of the family for about 2 month before the birth so when I walked into the hospital I felt this amazing sense of achievement and 'control' and their jaws dropping was pretty cool...then I held the little one...and I felt every eye in the room on me...in that moment I realised it didn't make any difference at all...I still felt their pity..and that's what I hate!
So my side of the family has been fine as my bro hasn't had kids...only just moved in with his girlfriend...then...wouldn't you know it...the day I got home from hospital after my lap in dec he phoned to tell me they'd 'had an accident'...I'm thinking car accident...but no...they're pregnant! That was my breaking point! To cut a really long story short...his announcement has been the catalyst for me to finally say how I feel...instead of doing wha't expected and saying all the right things...self preservation now...my folks never stop talking about the 'grandchild'...my mum even sent me an email telling me how they 'expect' me to support my brother and keep 'my issues' to myself...so I let her have it...of course I will support my brother but I will not discuss anything with any of them about our journey any more...they just don't get it....then to top it all off...I have referred 6 girls at work to my clinic and they all have babies...two of them have there second already!!!!! The last two just finished up at the end of the school term...the same time I would have been finishing if our last little one had hung around...
anyways...I'm going on and on...but I did send all my family and friends a link to a support site that has this amazing video called 'empty arms'...am I allowed to share other sites here?...anyways...the emails I have had back from people after them watching it has been great...so I'm sorry I've got little to offer other than grumbles...I'm just so over peoples insensitivity!!!! I am going to write a book..."How to win friends and influence people - the ferility version!!!!!"