How can I explain it to my husband!

[bella55]

Hi b2b,

I can sympathise as probably so many others can. We have had x4 failed clomid cycles, x2 failed IUI and we are about to move onto IVF. We have had the crying screaming matches and the stress was definately beginging to show we then sat down and talked really openly - without the telly on, with no mobile phone distraction we just agreed to set aside a night to really talk. During that night i showed him the thread "empty arms, broken hearts" (in LTTTC) and i had bought a book "getting pregnant by prof. robert jansen" and i had marked the chapter "releif from suffering" which talks about all the emotional side of things. He then also read other chapters and i think now understands the whole process so much better it gives him confidence and understanding.

We had to go for our first counselling session to be able to start IVF and in that they talked about how women want to talk about how they are feeling and just because he may "seem disinterested or unsupportive" it may just be his way of dealing with the stress also - WE SOUNDED COMPLETLY NORMAL.

I would also contemplate a counselling session - does your FS clinic offer a service?

Hang in their hun - it's a very difficult road Look after each other and take time off if you need to - we have!

xxBella

[Baby2Bee]

Thank you soooo much bella! It's nice to know that I'm not the only irrational female around!! Our clinic does offer counselling. I have been once, on my own of course, and was in tears during most of it! I'm at hollywood fertility (in perth) and it's one thing I haven't really enjoyed about the experience....I didn't like the counsellor - she spent most of the time telling me about the the stats and how IVF is better than IUI!!! Something i didn't really need to hear especially when it's your OB's decision to put us on IUI.........not mine!

[nic]

hi Baby2Bee
I spent 3 months on the synarel spray before we started IVF. I was so horribly moody and emotional and it was extremely hard for me to get DH to understand how I felt. Even when I told him that i was aware that I was getting angry with him and DD and yelling at them, I just could not control it...It took a friend of ours telling him about medication that she takes and how it would affect her the same way, for him to understand how I was feeling and what I was going through. I think he needed to hear it from someone else that i wasn't deliberatly being a monster!

Talking,talking,talking...you can never do too much of it when you are going through long term TTC and AC...
Your clinic counsellor sounds like a nutter too! Is she the only one available?
Lotsa hugs...

Nic

[MummaSue]

We've been TTC for over 6 years now and what we do is just keep the communication open, no matter how uncomfortable or silly or whatever we are feeling is. Talking is so important.

And even at this point, everything that we have been through over the past few years has made us stronger and I put that down to our communication.

Talk talk talk!!!!!

[Baby2Bee]

Nic and Sue - thank you so much for your words of advice. They are really appreciated!!!! Nic I read your email to dh last night and finally...i think he may be starting to understand why I'm the way I am!!! I also watched the video you mentioned yesterday and i started crying as soon as the bloody music started!!!! What a wonderful movie. I'm actually going to send it through to some friends of mine. Again THANK YOU!!!!

[JBM]

well men , what can i say. maybe he needs to read men are from mars book. men are not the best at coping with these issues but if he can understand how you are feeling i am sure it may be easier. most fertility clinics offer councelling and although i havn't used them yet maybe as the others said it may help. hope you get some answers soon. good luck

[nic]

Nic and Sue - thank you so much for your words of advice. They are really appreciated!!!! Nic I read your email to dh last night and finally...i think he may be starting to understand why I'm the way I am!!! I also watched the video you mentioned yesterday and i started crying as soon as the bloody music started!!!! What a wonderful movie. I'm actually going to send it through to some friends of mine. Again THANK YOU!!!!

That is excellent Baby2Bee! Hopefully this will be the start of bigger and better things to come (and a BIG Woohoo to your DH too)

Nic

[lilmisshavachat]

Hi Baby2bee..
I could've posted this thread myself.. I'm on my 3rd cycle with Clomid and it has gotten worse with the mood swings... I started on DH first thing yesterday morning and continued on after he got home... He's thinks i'm being hard on him but when the hormones are kicking is when I normally spit out what's bothering me.. And spit out I do.. quite venomous.. It's like I can't bite my tongue... I hope that your DH understands more now.. I'm on an uphill battle with mine.. He just says don't worry about it... Good luck hun.. i hope the TWW flies by for you and that you'll have your BFP at the end of it...