thanks for that perspective Grub- it's great you can approach it that way and something I need to try more

becd- thanks for understanding that perspective also

i was talking to a pregnant friend yesterday, someone who has been very understanding of my situation in the past and has previously gone through IVF and knows what its like (although ended up having a natural baby and this is natural no 2) and she was going on about her morning sickness and tiredness etc...and I just found it hard to listen and stay on and be sympathetic. I felt like shouting "at least you have a child and another healthy pregnancy!- I would LOVE that, sickness and all...compared to being where I am right now, in a land of uncertainty, doing IVF, wondering how antiphospholipid syndrome will affect things when/if we do fall pregnant again, feeling grief when I see babies etc etc. remembering painful milestones associated with past lost pregnancies".... I know that probably sounds a bit melodramatic, but it all just was bubbling under the surface... of course all I said was "oh I am sorry you are feeling so sick, and I hope it eases for you soon..."