Thanks so much everyone for your very kind and support words, you are all so amazing and i am very thankful to have you guys to lean on and look for when i need help.

i know that i should be focusing on the positives, but right now i cant see them, i feel sad and angry for the way this has turned out! i know tomorrow i will feel better about it all but today i just feel horrible.

i just had to do the hardest thing, i had to tell my dd who has been with me every step of the way through this ivf cycle, that it wasnt meant to be and now we have to pray to god and ask him to help us give her a brother or sister naturally. My little girl is amazing, when we told her that things hadn't worked out the way they were suppose to, she said to me " its ok mummy, we will just keep on trying and trying" i think i just fell in love with this gorgeous little girl all over again. I am so blessed and lucky to have her, she has held my hand every night for the injections and she crosses off the syneral dosage chart every morning and night, and when i was feeling sick she would lay beside me and we would watch tv or a movie or just simple sit and chat. she so desperatly wants a sibling and thats why today is so much harder, i dont ever want to see disappointment in her eyes

i hate feeling like this, i want to feel positive but just cant find those happy thoughts