Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception - Dec 2007 #3

[Hollybolly]

Hi Everyone

have been a little bit of a stranger in these parts, but hav been in the LTAC thread regularly!!

It would be way too ambitious of me to attempt personals, but lets start from today and I'll try and keep up!
There's soooo many new people.

Hope everyone is doing wonderfully..... SHANNON GO TO HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!

[tippytoes]

Dear Shannon

I really hope you are okay ....

I hate to jump on the band wagon here but I really think you should go to hospital and rest up! Think of the long term, you want to be healthy - that is #1. I hope you are already there..

Anyway I'll be looking out for your post to make sure you're okay...sending you lots of love

Rach:hugs:

[Mon]

Hi Gals,

Shannon - any news? I hope you are OK hun!
BW - good on you for relaxing and reading! Enjoy your break! You deserve it!
BG - you make me laugh I couldnt help visualising you doing some serious kick boxing moves! I hope all is well.
TL - Glad to hear things are going well with work and that you are busy.
ML - Tough about the 24th Dec BT. Perhaps you can do it after Xmas? AT least that way you can enjoy Xmas w/out knowing. Sometimes blissful ignorance is so much better. But I am sure either way it would do your head in as you would want to know! Its a hard one! I am praying that its a BFP and you can really enjoy Xmas!
HB - good to see you again! Hope all is going well with you. How are the wedding plans proceeding? Not too long to go.
Dusty - hope you are having a nice wknd! Thanks for ur txt! You are such a doll!

Me - went to clinic this morning for BT and levels have dropped to 20,000. FS hasnt completely cancelled cycle yet. Wants me to go back in for BT on Monday. If they have dropped to a better level, then they will trigger and will go in for EPU on Wednesday (fingers crossed). If I do get to EPU they will freeze all the embies due to risk of OHSS. So am on strict orders to rest, no housework, and heaps of fluids.

What a day though! When went in for BT with DH, he was pretty angry that my levels were so high! Because my veins are so deep and temperamental, nurse went for right arm as my good left arm was still sensitive from day before. She managed to get a bit of blood before my vein collapsed. She was so lovely though and felt so bad for me. She then left to go call pathology to see whether the sample would be enough as she didnt want to jab me again. My DH has a rant and says he doesnt want me going through with it and that he has had enough of the ivf and doesnt want me doing it anymore. Great time to drop the bombshell. The nurse comes back in and tells me that she will try my hand just to get some more blood. AS she goes in and asks me about my Xmas plans I melt down and start balling! The thought of it all ending sent me to pieces and my DH comment was so wrong timing and innapropriate.
Nurse was lovely and reassuring! Ifelt dumb crying in front of her but am sure they have seen heaps of ppl crying.
Nonetheless was furious with DH and didnt talk all the way home and then had an argument and me balling hysterically. I dont think I have ever cried like that! It was awful.
I know my DH is just trying to protect me and is worried, but he doesnt realise I will climb to mount everest and back if it means having a child. Him making the decision to end it is like 'shoot me now'.
Anyway we made up in the end, and admitted he is just so frustrated with the process. Being a guy he just snaps, and me being all emotional I just want his support not to go off the deep end, because I cant cope with that right now!
We then went to get a bite even though I wasnt hungry, on his insistence. I almost didnt even want to go to my hairdresser appt. Anyway b4 going to go to hairdresser, I went to pick up dry cleaning and they had lost my top! was furious! They had my skirt but not the top - mind you this is for a christening for tomorrow! They said they would look for it and bring it home! I then drove to hairdressers place (she works from home) and when I got there, there was a sign on the door saying that her father is ill and that she wont be doing anyones hair today! I couldnt believe my luck! I thought could anything else go wrong today! If hadnt made up with DH I would have had a nervous breakdown!
Anyway given my clinic have told me to rest and do nothing, and would have had to drive all the way to liverpool tomorrow (as DH is working), I decided I wont go! I am not really up to it anyway, and perhaps its a sign! Well that is what my girlfriend thinks, even though I thought someone must be casting the evil eye on me! Anyway trying to rest but for whatever reason I have a stomach ache, its probably tension / stress related as havent really eaten much and its in that solar plexus region!
Anyway sorry for my long ramble! I am hoping that getting it all out of my system will make me feel better!
Mon

[slyder]

Geez Mon, you're having a rough run at the moment. It's good your levels have come down though.

Try not to be too hard on DH. He reacted exactly as I would've and most other blokes I reckon; all protective grumpy bear. It's how we cope - we just spit the dummy and go 'stuff it, it's not worth it'. Timing was a bit bad though I know

[Mon]

Yeah the timing was pretty bad! I know he felt bad afterwards and understand where he is coming from! I know he feels responsible that I have to go through it! Ironically I am now the one having problems! Its such an adventure isnt it! Hope you are well Slyder and that DW is doing well! You must be pretty excited about upcoming FET!

[slyder]

Not feeling that excited, life has been a bit icky lately and in any event DW's cycle has gone feral. She's now at Day 37 with no sign of AF and she has no fertility issues nor general cycle issues so we don't really know what's going on. Sort of stuffs up the trying naturally bit. The clinic nurse seemed to think that after the last FET she may even skip this AF, despite getting AF not long after the FET cycle ended. So why she would possibly skip this one is beyond me. I guess with the drugs (we will have to do a medicated cycle now) they can get her to whatever stage they need her, but the sudden change of events is a bit weird. Blergh.

[Mon]

How frustrating Slyder! Those drugs sure do stuff you around! I am pretty regular myself - every 28-30 days. After 1st IVF my AF didnt arrive until Day 36! And the following month Day 35! I hope this is the one for you

[slyder]

Thanks Mon

[tippytoes]

Dear Mon,

I am sorry you have had such a crappy day! I can totally undertsand your being upset and sometimes tears help... Sometimes I get myself into a real state though! (poor DH he is in for a terrible time when the drungs kick in but he is bracing himself!!!)

I think your hubby just hates to see you so sad. He doesn't want you to be in pain either, but as a man they want to fix it all - quickly. I think that is why he said it at the time he did. He saw the problem and thought he could magically fix it by saying he had had enough. Even though he didn't really mean it. I hope you can relax and really take it easy over the weekend, don't do anything you don't want to! I think a large dose of Dirty Dancing, Ghost, Beaches and the like are in order.

Rets up Mon, I'll check in with you soon - Rach

[dusty]

mon, what a rough day. but was a good drop in your levels.
good move not going to the christening today. listen to what the clinic is telling you and the BB girls who know what OHSS is like. rest up, sit back, watch DVDs, listen to music, read a book or the newspaper, drinks loads, chat on the phone, sit on BB all day etc etc. you don't want to be tired after EPU as that is the time you are more likely to suffer the effects of OHSS.

i am sorry DH's timing was off. it can be so stressful on the guys to watch us go through this. while my DH would love to have children he doesn't have my overwhelming maternal urge and feels it can all be too much sometimes.

Aunty TL, exciting news about your niece to be!

xx

[Mon]

I know what you mean Dusty! My DH loves and wants kids, but thinks I can be too obsessed and rolls his eyes when I jump onto BB ha ha. He's like cant you think about something else! Well no not really ... its my every thought of the day! Guys are just different I suppose! I think he is in denial sometimes, its like he thinks its just going to happen or should just happen! And then when things go wrong, you're right Rach they just want to jump in and fix it straight away. In this case he just made it worse cause he didnt think of my feelings or the way I would react and in the end he cant really fix anything!

I am doing my head in though surfing the net. Read that coasting ... which is what they are doing with me at the mo., ie no GnRH (Gonal F) to drop E2 levels doesnt necessarily reduce the effect of OHSS after EPU. Bit freaked out that 1 in 100000 egg collections from OHSS can develop into a blood clot / stroke and can be fatal! I will be heavilly quizzing the clinic on Monday! And have the appropriate hospital on speed dial if things get out of control! Hopefully not. I suppose the fear of not knowing is bad!
I think I need to take my mind off things and just go watch a movie on foxtel or something!

Any news from Shannon? I hope she is OK!!!

Hope you are all having a nice Sunday! Crap weather here! Perfect DVD weather actually!

Mon

[dusty]

hang in there mon and enjoy those DVDs. have you ever seen the Princess Bride? a classic adult fairytale.
being aware of the potential problems with OHSS possibly lowers your risks associated with it - ie if someone didn't know as much as you do from eg BB and internet then they may wait longer to seek help than you would.
between you/clinic/dr/DH/BB gang we have you pretty much covered i feel to avoid any big problems....
DH is now home from sydney and we are enjoying our special day!

xx

[mwalsh.lloyd]

Mon- Sorry to hear your having such a rough patch. I had to show DH your post, nearly brought him to tears. He has at times said to me, its not worth, then I remind him what we're going for. I know Im a fairly new stranger but if you will *hugs*.
Slyer - Hope things go well for you guys this time round. Sending you prayers and heaps of babydust.

Personally, (if you don't mind), I'm having nervous excited thoughts, hit the end of week 1 of TWW and my boobs are getting sorer by the day. I wonder if its post drugs or if my mind is creating things. I've decided to take a few leaves outta peoples books and be proactive so tomorrow, Im going shopping all day.
Going to go to my local coffee shop and have a lovely cup of Chai, (still not coping with the No Coffee thing arg!@), please forgive, Im new to all this. I assume its due to being a first time but ya go into normal person mode and ya go, bugger can''t have that and think i would be so ok with NOt having ham if I knew, but I just can't and its wierd (?). The flow of emotions is interesting from oh maybe to dont get too excited you'll just fall apart when you get a BPN. Bring on Christmas (personally).
I just realised I been rambling, sorry guys.
Have anyone heard if Shannon ended up in hospital? , Ive been away due to a dead laptop and can only access net occassionally. I always end up with so many questions to ask people but forget when I finally get on the net.
Anyways, enough rambling, I hope everyone have a good week end and things are going well. For those who is not going quite so well, well wishes and prayers your way.
Talk to ya soon.

[~BecD~]

Hi all, good to catch up on what you are all doing I've been trying to keep my distance for a while as I was getting depressed about how long we had to wait until our next cycle, but as it's getting closer I thought I would join you all again.

We had our appointment with the embryologist, Dr Junk, at our clinic, and we are definitely going ahead with IVM (In Vitro Maturation) in the new year. We are on holiday in Melbourne Jan 4-9 so will be starting the cycle when we get back Im really excited, I've done HEAPS of research on the procedure and feel confident that it can provide us with results - so fingers crossed!

[jaike and jaides mummy]

bec d
have you done iui,
how succesfull is that do you know, cos ive been promised it if i dont concieve in the next 3 months,
im now on my 2ww and its driving me nuts, i really need this one to be positive, ive been trying for a year now after my 2 still borns last year, im comming to the end of my rope, feeling like im not a proper woman, iykwim, even tho i have 2 older boys it still hurts every time i have a negative test,
mandxx

[dusty]

hi mand, welcome to our thread. wishing you a belated xmas pressie this year! i hope you can be distracted during the TWW.
hey Bec, sounds like 2008 is your year hun. i know a lot of us will be watching your progress with IVM it is exciting technology esp for PCOS gals. i hope you are feeling brighter and ready for the 'fun' to begin.
mwalsh, 1 week down hun. well done. i hope your symptoms are positive for you. mmmm chai, i love chai. it is decaf coffee for me for several years now, and i never miss the old caffeine.
mon, hang in there sweet. rest rest rest (am i getting tiring yet? :P)
TL missing you now you are so busy with work :P
hello all, only one week to christmas!!! we head off on holidays today packing the car and boogie boards for three weeks on the southern ocean brrrrrrrr.

[Mon]

Mwalsh - what a sweetie your DH is! Thank you so much! I tell you I havent cried as much as I have this weekend in a long time (probably the last time I got my heart really badly broken - and that was probably almost 10 years ago!) But this was hysterical almost! Am hoping and praying you get your BFP for Xmas! I understand the mood swings you get! Try to stay positive and good on you for treating yourself ,,, you deserve after TTC!

Bec D ... the IVM sounds very exciting! Have done some reading up on it as well and it sounds like very promising new technology! I will be asking my FS about it and I'll be following your journey closeley as well!

Mands, welcome and hope you get a BFP in time for Xmas! I understand the dissapointment of the negative results! Am so sorry to hear about your still borns! Big hugs!

Dusty, thanks for your support over the past few days ... you have been super!!! SUPERDUSTY la da la! Enjoy the southern ocean ... sounds awesome! Keep in touch ... hope you have some really relaxing time out and can kick back and be intoxicated by the ocean spray and clean air! That is just what I need right about now!

Well as for me ... unfortunately not such good news! Went for BT this morning at the clinic and just got my results a while ago! My levels dropped down from 20,000 - to under 2000! Can you believe it! I dont understand the picture here! I really dont understand how my levels could have dropped off so fast!!!! So anyway the cycle has been cancelled! I am actually OK about it! I think the big cry on Sat really helped and I was kind of expecting it anyway! I now have to go to FS on 16th Jan and will need to give my body a rest until trying again! Probably February. Nurse had spoken to my FS and he wanted me to know that I had responded really well all the way up until the end and he will adjust my cycle next time accordingly! I suppose it is all trial and error in the end! No excuses now .. they have to at least get the protocol right this time to give me a better chance! DH and I have already decided if it doesnt work in February then we will jump off the IVF band wagon and try to go natural with herbs or whatever it takes and go to Italy around August to see his family. If the natural thing doesnt work we'll see what the next steps will be once we get back! Either way at least will have something to look forward to next year!

Anyway hope you are all well, sending you lots of baby dust and good vibes and hope that for those that are in the 2WW that Santa brings you a big fat BFP! And for the rest of us! Looking forward to 2008 being the year for us!

Mon

[briggsy's girl]

Mon - i'm do sorry to hear that you've had your cycle cancelled. i KNOW how hard it is to be cancelled, and especially at this time of year. as much as you've had a cry at the weekend, don't think you've done all the grieving you're allowed - you're still allowed to get upset and angry, to cry and be mad at the world, as much as you want! we're all here for you hun

to those asking - i was chatting to shannon on MSN this morning - she ended up in hospital for a couple of days - i'm sure she'll come in and update you all soon!

BG