Hi Gals,

Shannon - any news? I hope you are OK hun!
BW - good on you for relaxing and reading! Enjoy your break! You deserve it!
BG - you make me laugh I couldnt help visualising you doing some serious kick boxing moves! I hope all is well.
TL - Glad to hear things are going well with work and that you are busy.
ML - Tough about the 24th Dec BT. Perhaps you can do it after Xmas? AT least that way you can enjoy Xmas w/out knowing. Sometimes blissful ignorance is so much better. But I am sure either way it would do your head in as you would want to know! Its a hard one! I am praying that its a BFP and you can really enjoy Xmas!
HB - good to see you again! Hope all is going well with you. How are the wedding plans proceeding? Not too long to go.
Dusty - hope you are having a nice wknd! Thanks for ur txt! You are such a doll!

Me - went to clinic this morning for BT and levels have dropped to 20,000. FS hasnt completely cancelled cycle yet. Wants me to go back in for BT on Monday. If they have dropped to a better level, then they will trigger and will go in for EPU on Wednesday (fingers crossed). If I do get to EPU they will freeze all the embies due to risk of OHSS. So am on strict orders to rest, no housework, and heaps of fluids.

What a day though! When went in for BT with DH, he was pretty angry that my levels were so high! Because my veins are so deep and temperamental, nurse went for right arm as my good left arm was still sensitive from day before. She managed to get a bit of blood before my vein collapsed. She was so lovely though and felt so bad for me. She then left to go call pathology to see whether the sample would be enough as she didnt want to jab me again. My DH has a rant and says he doesnt want me going through with it and that he has had enough of the ivf and doesnt want me doing it anymore. Great time to drop the bombshell. The nurse comes back in and tells me that she will try my hand just to get some more blood. AS she goes in and asks me about my Xmas plans I melt down and start balling! The thought of it all ending sent me to pieces and my DH comment was so wrong timing and innapropriate.
Nurse was lovely and reassuring! Ifelt dumb crying in front of her but am sure they have seen heaps of ppl crying.
Nonetheless was furious with DH and didnt talk all the way home and then had an argument and me balling hysterically. I dont think I have ever cried like that! It was awful.
I know my DH is just trying to protect me and is worried, but he doesnt realise I will climb to mount everest and back if it means having a child. Him making the decision to end it is like 'shoot me now'.
Anyway we made up in the end, and admitted he is just so frustrated with the process. Being a guy he just snaps, and me being all emotional I just want his support not to go off the deep end, because I cant cope with that right now!
We then went to get a bite even though I wasnt hungry, on his insistence. I almost didnt even want to go to my hairdresser appt. Anyway b4 going to go to hairdresser, I went to pick up dry cleaning and they had lost my top! was furious! They had my skirt but not the top - mind you this is for a christening for tomorrow! They said they would look for it and bring it home! I then drove to hairdressers place (she works from home) and when I got there, there was a sign on the door saying that her father is ill and that she wont be doing anyones hair today! I couldnt believe my luck! I thought could anything else go wrong today! If hadnt made up with DH I would have had a nervous breakdown!
Anyway given my clinic have told me to rest and do nothing, and would have had to drive all the way to liverpool tomorrow (as DH is working), I decided I wont go! I am not really up to it anyway, and perhaps its a sign! Well that is what my girlfriend thinks, even though I thought someone must be casting the evil eye on me! Anyway trying to rest but for whatever reason I have a stomach ache, its probably tension / stress related as havent really eaten much and its in that solar plexus region!
Anyway sorry for my long ramble! I am hoping that getting it all out of my system will make me feel better!
Mon