Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception - Dec 2007 #3

[mwalsh.lloyd]

Had one of those horrible days where everything at work went wrong, not to mention TWW is driving me crazy, thank god 4 days to go. Though this morning I was 80% I wasn't going to get BFP where as the past couple of days I thought YES!.. DH kinda went a little off at me and told me to stop stressing but sometimes, I just wish we could pump them with the hormones, just for a day. But then I realise he's prob just frustated that he can't help.

Anyhow, how is everyone, Im bored and need some distraction. TV sux and I really don't want to do work work.

Is this all normal, seriously?? (1st timer here) I think I have some stuff to get used to. *sigh*

[Shannon22]

Good Morning Ladies

Kerri - Congrats thats a great surprise!!! What a wonderful Christmas present

ML - Yep definately all normal! The TWW sucks! And an interesting story my husband bought a new TV yesterday and i sat down and had a chat with him last night saying how i was upset because he got to be all excited and i had to worry about the finances and couldn't enjoy it etc etc and he said to me thats exactly how IVF is for him, everything is happening to me and i have all these feelings about it and all he does is worry about me all the time, he doesn't get to relax and get excited etc because im his first priority and all he manages to do is worry. I had never thought it if like that, and it get me more perspective on how he was experiencing IVF. Hope that makes some kind of sense Although when those hormones are pumping it can be complete different story Good Luck!


Just wanted to say Merry Christmas to everyone and wishing you all a great New Year!!

2008 has to be the one for us!!


Shan

[Peta]

Hey everyone!
Thank god its the holidays!!!! We had our work xmas party last night & I am exhausted. Not so much from one late night, but a conglomeration of them over the last week.
Well just wanted to let you know FET went well -thank you for all your wishes. Unfortunately they had to thaw 5 embies to get 1 to survive, which means we are only left with 1 in the freezer. Was a bit dissappointed about that, but keep thinking we only need one to succeed. Here's hoping its the little one that's now with me! For some reason (maybe cause this time of year is so busy) I am feeling very blah about the whole process and not worrying too much about the possibilities that lie ahead. Who knows, maybe that is a good frame of mind to have?!
Shannon - very glad to see you back on deck! Hope you are recovering/have recovered well. Very interesting analogy with DH and the TV. Sometimes the only way I can understand things is by either a picture or analogy like that. Thanks!
ML - not long now. Here's hoping Monday (?) brings good news for you & a fabulous christmas pressie.
Well girls take care.

[mwalsh.lloyd]

TWW is over tomorrow, still have to go have blood test even though AF came to say hello. Will catch up later.

[slyder]

Congrats Kerri.

Good luck, Peta. Hope this one is a sticker.

Sorry to hear that MWL. Hope you're OK.

[Mon]

MWL - big hug honey ... am so sorry to hear!!!! Feel free to rant and rave! understand how upsetting it is! You take care of yourself OK!
Peta GL with your 2WW.
Kerri - congrats on your BFP!
Shannon - glad to hear you are out of hospital and feeling OK!
To every1 else thanks for your well wishes and support over the past week! Have accepted reality of cancelled cycle. Got AF on Friday and its pretty heavy - sorry if TMI! Not the best timing b4 Xmas. Nurses said I probably would get AF b/ween 1-5 wks, but of course mine had to show w/in the week! Probably better this way. Still need to take a break, due to over stimulation, so have to wait till next AF to start. So looks like Feb/Mar timing! Seems ages away! But glad to have some time off TTC to be honest! At least can enjoy and indulge a little over the week and have a few drinks!
Wishing you all a Merry Xmas and hope santa sends you a BFP for whoever is still in the race!
For the rest of us praying for a happy PG 2008!
Mon

[mwalsh.lloyd]

Well, its been an interesting day. DH told me he doesn't know how to mourn the loss of our potential child. you guys who have been through an implant, can you let me know if this is usual cos Ive never had it before, and please forgive me for being gross but..
I've had minimal discharge so was hoping it was just spotting until I went to the loo and lost a large "chunk", bout the size of my palm, Im wondering if that is normal and that maybe I did manage to get preggers or if it's just the process of an unsuccessful implant? I know Ill find out tomorrow if I did manage, but you know how it is, if you can get info from your fellow LTers.. Thanks for everything, though I don't know you guys that well, Im hoping to get to know you all as Im finding you guys exceptionally valuable.
Thankyou.

To everyone still playing the painful waiting game at whatever stage of the process, and best wishes, hope Santa brings
To everyone else on the list for next year, 2008 is going to be our year, bring on the Happy christmas and hope everyone has a great New Years.

[slyder]

MWL, I haven't given the loss of the potential child concept a great deal of thought, but it is something which has become more 'real' to me of late.

As for the discharge, the medication that is taken as part of a cycle can and does make your lining thicker and therefore when AF arrives it can be a bit/alot worse than usual depending on the individual.

[mwalsh.lloyd]

Slyder, I think with us, as both of us are fertile, and our problem being I have bad endo. Our Gyno suggested we have lap surgery again and go to IVF while we wait for a surgery date.
We made a bad assumption that because we were fertile, the IVF would just stick the embryo up there and we'd be home, so we kind of have been calling this one our little baby as its been the closest we've come to our desired baby.
This whole LTTTC really messes with your head, you become so hopeful.
Its been good in a way, that AF came. Allowed DH to open up and tell me he hasn't wanted to burden me with everything that I've been going through medically. But we talked and cried and thought, well, we got 8 more frozen. And try to look at that positive. At least I can know say that I have been pregnant, in a round about way. (Having an embryo in my womb - lol, I know, crazy thought but we have to have them to survive). My blood test will reveal if it did actually stick, so I got my fingers crossed that it did stick, even if it were for a week.
Thanks for being around.

[dusty]

oh MWL i am so sorry hun - if you feel up to it have a drink or three over xmas and i hope you and DH have some time to grieve together. its a hard path this AC.

peta, good luck hun. fingers crossed for you.

like mon, i am wishing you all a peaceful christmas and auspicious 2008! xx

[briggsy's girl]

MWL - hun - i'm sorry to hear things didn't work out - i too had very rather heavy, and very clotty AF after first full stim cycle - it was decidedly ick!! the larger of the two massive clots i had was larger than the palm of my hand - so as much as it sucks, i think this is quite normal...

[butterfly_warrior]

MWL, I haven't had a transfer on a stim cycle, so I don't really know what it does. My sad tendency to hyperstimulate has ruled out transfering both times.

But, my last FET cycle was the exact situation you described. AF arrived right on cue with spotting the day before blood test and heavier bleeding the day of the test. I knew it was going to be negative. What I wasn't prepared for was what happened the next day - AF being so suddenly and unusually painful that I could not stand up... Extremely heavy, but it was the pain more than anything else that got to me - I felt like my uterus was being torn out of my body. My blood test revealed a HCG level of 1.2. Extremely low, and I'm sure that if my test had been a day later, we'd have been puzzling forever about the significance of my unusually painful AF. I had no huge clots, though... I did have a lot more clotting than normal, and many much larger than normal, but nothing like what BG and yourself went through.

It's so hard to know for sure what happens in this game. In some ways I do feel better that we (my DH and myself as well as my FS - that was important to me for some odd reason) were able to acknowledge it as a lost baby... and that we can sit and think that two transfers have given us two pregnancies... we just try so hard not to think of the two miscarriages that followed.

Other times, I wish I'd never known and was just able to think of it as an unusually painful AF, and not the loss of another precious angel.

Anyway, excuse my babbling, but I do hope that it helps you to know that there are many of us who have been where you are right now. That's the beauty of belly belly - the fact that it brings together those of us who are going through an extremely isolating experience and gives us the gift of understanding and the support of other women (and men - sorry Slyder!) who know what it's like.

Hang in there.

BW

[pollyanna]

You hooooooo,
Well i feel like i'm achieving something(bravery award)lol.
Well after clomid didnt do anything the doctor decided gonal-f is the way to go. So tonight all by myself i did my first injection. It did not hurt one little bit. Not even a smidge;but i had myself that worked up with the pen in my hand aimed at my stomach for probably 5 minutes. What a drama queen I have to do another 6 injections then have an ultrasound. I have so got my fingers crossed. Please please please-let this be a success. And wooooooohooooo, i am not a sook...
Merry christmas girls...
Hope santa brings you lots of BFP's

[briggsy's girl]

good luck pollyanna!!

i found the injections i was either "yep, this is fine" or "i don't wanna!!" - DH laughed cos i knew it wouldn't hurt that much - i'd just go from one extreme to the other...

[Peta]

Hey everyone!
Just popping in to say Merry Christmas, I hope Santa was kind to you all.
I am a bit surprised, even though I am in TWW, I found today to be a bit hard. When we started TTC back in April 06, I never ever thought I would still be waiting to conceive at this time. I just kept wishing that today was the day I could have announced a BFP to family & friends, but that is not to be right now. Just feeling a bit sad & deflated at the moment - maybe it is just being tired after a big day! At least no one in either mine or DH family made any comments or ever puts any pressure on us (well, my mum used to, but I had a go at her and now she doesn't ask at all!).
I hope that you have all gotten through today ok.
Take care xo

[slyder]

My sister announced today that she's pregnant (we've known for a while). She thought she'd better start now (at 22) because of my fertility issues, and my mother's fertility issues and her belief that the same would happen to them. Of course she fell pregnant straight away which is cool! Fortunately, like you Peta, we didn't get any family hassles.

[Shannon22]

Merry Christmas Guys.

No family hassles here which was nice, still didn't take away that empty feeling.

Oh that can be a tough one slyder my SIL announced her 3rd surprise pregnancy a week after we told the in laws about IVF, hurt like buggery. My neice is now 7 1/2 months old... which is a scary thought.


Shan

[jbub]

Hi everyone

Hope you had a merry xmas.
I started my first ever injections on Sunday (Lucrin). I was so scared but once I had done it I realised it really isn't a big deal at all. I didn't use ice or anything first - just stuck it straight in my belly and it didn't hurt at all. Just a bit of stinging like a green ant bite for 20 mins or so (very mild).
I am feeling extremely tired (from the drugs I think?) but ok otherwise.
Most likely starting the stims on 4th Jan. EPU approx 16th Jan.
Anyone else at the same point in their cycle?

Jbub