Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception - Dec 2007 #3

[slyder]

Congrats Kerri.

Good luck, Peta. Hope this one is a sticker.

Sorry to hear that MWL. Hope you're OK.

[Mon]

MWL - big hug honey ... am so sorry to hear!!!! Feel free to rant and rave! understand how upsetting it is! You take care of yourself OK!
Peta GL with your 2WW.
Kerri - congrats on your BFP!
Shannon - glad to hear you are out of hospital and feeling OK!
To every1 else thanks for your well wishes and support over the past week! Have accepted reality of cancelled cycle. Got AF on Friday and its pretty heavy - sorry if TMI! Not the best timing b4 Xmas. Nurses said I probably would get AF b/ween 1-5 wks, but of course mine had to show w/in the week! Probably better this way. Still need to take a break, due to over stimulation, so have to wait till next AF to start. So looks like Feb/Mar timing! Seems ages away! But glad to have some time off TTC to be honest! At least can enjoy and indulge a little over the week and have a few drinks!
Wishing you all a Merry Xmas and hope santa sends you a BFP for whoever is still in the race!
For the rest of us praying for a happy PG 2008!
Mon

[mwalsh.lloyd]

Well, its been an interesting day. DH told me he doesn't know how to mourn the loss of our potential child. you guys who have been through an implant, can you let me know if this is usual cos Ive never had it before, and please forgive me for being gross but..
I've had minimal discharge so was hoping it was just spotting until I went to the loo and lost a large "chunk", bout the size of my palm, Im wondering if that is normal and that maybe I did manage to get preggers or if it's just the process of an unsuccessful implant? I know Ill find out tomorrow if I did manage, but you know how it is, if you can get info from your fellow LTers.. Thanks for everything, though I don't know you guys that well, Im hoping to get to know you all as Im finding you guys exceptionally valuable.
Thankyou.

To everyone still playing the painful waiting game at whatever stage of the process, and best wishes, hope Santa brings
To everyone else on the list for next year, 2008 is going to be our year, bring on the Happy christmas and hope everyone has a great New Years.

[slyder]

MWL, I haven't given the loss of the potential child concept a great deal of thought, but it is something which has become more 'real' to me of late.

As for the discharge, the medication that is taken as part of a cycle can and does make your lining thicker and therefore when AF arrives it can be a bit/alot worse than usual depending on the individual.

[dusty]

oh MWL i am so sorry hun - if you feel up to it have a drink or three over xmas and i hope you and DH have some time to grieve together. its a hard path this AC.

peta, good luck hun. fingers crossed for you.

like mon, i am wishing you all a peaceful christmas and auspicious 2008! xx

[briggsy's girl]

MWL - hun - i'm sorry to hear things didn't work out - i too had very rather heavy, and very clotty AF after first full stim cycle - it was decidedly ick!! the larger of the two massive clots i had was larger than the palm of my hand - so as much as it sucks, i think this is quite normal...

[butterfly_warrior]

MWL, I haven't had a transfer on a stim cycle, so I don't really know what it does. My sad tendency to hyperstimulate has ruled out transfering both times.

But, my last FET cycle was the exact situation you described. AF arrived right on cue with spotting the day before blood test and heavier bleeding the day of the test. I knew it was going to be negative. What I wasn't prepared for was what happened the next day - AF being so suddenly and unusually painful that I could not stand up... Extremely heavy, but it was the pain more than anything else that got to me - I felt like my uterus was being torn out of my body. My blood test revealed a HCG level of 1.2. Extremely low, and I'm sure that if my test had been a day later, we'd have been puzzling forever about the significance of my unusually painful AF. I had no huge clots, though... I did have a lot more clotting than normal, and many much larger than normal, but nothing like what BG and yourself went through.

It's so hard to know for sure what happens in this game. In some ways I do feel better that we (my DH and myself as well as my FS - that was important to me for some odd reason) were able to acknowledge it as a lost baby... and that we can sit and think that two transfers have given us two pregnancies... we just try so hard not to think of the two miscarriages that followed.

Other times, I wish I'd never known and was just able to think of it as an unusually painful AF, and not the loss of another precious angel.

Anyway, excuse my babbling, but I do hope that it helps you to know that there are many of us who have been where you are right now. That's the beauty of belly belly - the fact that it brings together those of us who are going through an extremely isolating experience and gives us the gift of understanding and the support of other women (and men - sorry Slyder!) who know what it's like.

Hang in there.

BW

[pollyanna]

You hooooooo,
Well i feel like i'm achieving something(bravery award)lol.
Well after clomid didnt do anything the doctor decided gonal-f is the way to go. So tonight all by myself i did my first injection. It did not hurt one little bit. Not even a smidge;but i had myself that worked up with the pen in my hand aimed at my stomach for probably 5 minutes. What a drama queen I have to do another 6 injections then have an ultrasound. I have so got my fingers crossed. Please please please-let this be a success. And wooooooohooooo, i am not a sook...
Merry christmas girls...
Hope santa brings you lots of BFP's

[briggsy's girl]

good luck pollyanna!!

i found the injections i was either "yep, this is fine" or "i don't wanna!!" - DH laughed cos i knew it wouldn't hurt that much - i'd just go from one extreme to the other...

[~BecD~]

Way to go Pollyanna! I remember my first injection, I stood in the kitchen freaking out for half an hour before I managed to do it! Here's hoping that it works for you!

[Peta]

Hey everyone!
Just popping in to say Merry Christmas, I hope Santa was kind to you all.
I am a bit surprised, even though I am in TWW, I found today to be a bit hard. When we started TTC back in April 06, I never ever thought I would still be waiting to conceive at this time. I just kept wishing that today was the day I could have announced a BFP to family & friends, but that is not to be right now. Just feeling a bit sad & deflated at the moment - maybe it is just being tired after a big day! At least no one in either mine or DH family made any comments or ever puts any pressure on us (well, my mum used to, but I had a go at her and now she doesn't ask at all!).
I hope that you have all gotten through today ok.
Take care xo

[slyder]

My sister announced today that she's pregnant (we've known for a while). She thought she'd better start now (at 22) because of my fertility issues, and my mother's fertility issues and her belief that the same would happen to them. Of course she fell pregnant straight away which is cool! Fortunately, like you Peta, we didn't get any family hassles.

[Shannon22]

Merry Christmas Guys.

No family hassles here which was nice, still didn't take away that empty feeling.

Oh that can be a tough one slyder my SIL announced her 3rd surprise pregnancy a week after we told the in laws about IVF, hurt like buggery. My neice is now 7 1/2 months old... which is a scary thought.


Shan

[jbub]

Hi everyone

Hope you had a merry xmas.
I started my first ever injections on Sunday (Lucrin). I was so scared but once I had done it I realised it really isn't a big deal at all. I didn't use ice or anything first - just stuck it straight in my belly and it didn't hurt at all. Just a bit of stinging like a green ant bite for 20 mins or so (very mild).
I am feeling extremely tired (from the drugs I think?) but ok otherwise.
Most likely starting the stims on 4th Jan. EPU approx 16th Jan.
Anyone else at the same point in their cycle?

Jbub

[Peta]

Hi All
Jbub - just wanted to say GL with this cycle. I am in TWW, but some of the other girls here should be fairly close to you.
Shannon & Slyder - thanks for your supportive comments.
Anyway, not much happening here, many AF symptoms, but who would know if its AF, progesterone pessaries or implant?! Trying not to read too much into anything & have 6 days to go till BT. The nurse did say I wouldn't get AF either way because of the pessaries, so I guess it will be a secret till the end.
Have a great day all & speak soon.

[slyder]

Peta that's right about AF, you wont get it until you come off the PP.

Jbub, welcome. I think at this time of year there are fewer active IVF cycles, but that doesn't mean there aren't people here to give you support and advice. Good luck.

[Acacia]

Hi everyone

I hope Christmas has been a relaxing and rewarding time with DPs and family. I think I did a fairly good job of not over-eating too much and not getting too annoyed at my family How did everyone else fair?

Our honeymoon was wonderful - so many things I've done for the first time on a holiday, like snorkeling and kayaking, and hand-feeding fish and listening to muttonbirds make a racket all night (DH wasn't as impressed at this as I was lol). We came home to do a mad 48 hour rush to be ready for Christmas, so I've been quite tired this Christmas. Unfortunately OCP has been affecting me more this time round, too.

I started Synarel today and I come off OCP on 2nd Jan. I'm due to start stims / down-reg scan 11th Jan - I think they've made it a bit later this time to cater for my late AF, based on last stim cycle. I've been badly slack with OCP - I don't seem to be good at taking it consistently at the same time, with all the distractions of the honeymoon and Christmas (even technically should have skipped a dose, I was that late with a dose during the honeymoon - panic stations at the time!). I worry sometimes that it will not be a good thing for the cycle and I'll have ovulated and my ovaries won't be "quiet" enough to start stimulation, but mostly I'm going through a biiiiig patch of apathy atm. I should be really excited to have another chance at a stim cycle, but I think I'm just really tired right now.

I've spent a while catching up with everyone's news since we went away after the wedding, and I apologise if my greeting and wishes are a bit late now.

Mon - I hope you're recovering ok from the over-stimulation. I'm very sorry to hear your cycle was cancelled. You've been on the biggest rollercoaster - lots of hugs.

Slyder - glad to hear you and DW are back in the game. I hope you're Christmas was ok - sisters have great timing, don't they? - my SIL is due to give birth next week (she'll be induced next Thurs) so it was a little difficult to see her at Christmas.

Shannon - I hope you're recovering ok from your hospital stay and OHSS. I'm really glad to hear that you and DH have been able to find a way to express the difficulties that you're going through to each other. That analogy was really good!

Kerri - A belated congratulations to you! I wish you a safe and happy pregnancy.

MWL - Hi there I don't think we've met yet, but I've followed you're progress and I'm sorry that this cycle wasn't the one. I hope you and DH are coping ok :hugs:

Peta - thinking of you lots - I hope you're hanging in there ok. Not long to go!

Jbub - welcome and I wish you lots and lots of luck and a speedy journey through IVF. We are all here for you if you need - plenty of people to offer you advice on all the things that you're not sure about. There will always be someone here to offer you support and help you if you're not feeling 100% confident about anything. I hope you're doing ok on those injections for now - ouch for those bruises! I found that making sure you injected at exactly 90 degrees to your skin helped with the bruising and any pain - and plenty of ice before you inject!

BW - I hope you're recovery has been going ok and that Christmas didn't put a dent in it! Been thinking of you lots and sending you recovery vibes

dusty - hey hun Howe's (lol) the surfing been going? I lost whether you were away on hodilay or what or whether you're away still or back (doh! sorry!) Thanks for all you're advice about LHI - it was sooooo helpful, and we really felt prepared to take advantage of the time before we even reached the island!

BG, TL, and anyone else who may be lurking, I hope you all had a lovely, relaxing Christmas that the new year is looking bright and full of hope for you all. Same goes to everyone


Miss C

[Mon]

Kinda glad that Xmas is out of the way! The day was good, was really busy in the kitchen helping my mum (as we had it there) and washing up. DH had the sh**ts that I was the only one helping - well with my sis looking after her bubs and SIL tired from her hosting Xmas eve dinner it only made sense! But was better actually as kept my mind off things - in a way. Well until my SIL made a comment at lunch about my sis and how exciting that her son is here and gushed and gaaed and said 'and this time last year you were PG'. It just put me in a dull mood! Like I needed to be reminded. It p****ed me off as I felt it was very insensitive of her to make a comment like that knowing about my situation. My DH agreed, but told me to not let it get to me, but you just cant help it, can you! Esp. when she kept going on and then said now there are more mums and dads ... la la la! Like please, any excuse really to not hang around the table and go wash dishes etc was better!
Told DH that next year if not PG we'll go away so that we can avoid the whole family thing! So BW I reckon you did a great thing!
MWL - hope you got some answers when you went for your BT. It's hard. I dont think I was upset the first time, but more angry when AF came. I was more upset when I found out that of the 14 embies that fertilised, only 1 made it! So when went for transfer I didnt get a vibe that my embie would make it! I think every1 deals with it in different ways! But it so helps to share your experience and vent here! Every1 understands and makes things easier here! I hope you and DH are doing OK!
Slyder - nothing worse than hearing when some1 - especially close to you - conceives straight away. That happened to my sis last year and her son is now 5 months old. Shannon - I can also relate to you in that way ... esp. when you are TTC at the same time, and have to go through seeing that person close to you be PG and then give birth - it is such a constant reminder and can hurt. I love my nephew to bits though, so dont get me wrong, they bring so much joy!
Peta - hope the 2WW isnt making you stir crazy - at least the time is flying! Well for me, so I hope it feels that way for you.
Jbub - GL with the injections! Its so exciting when it all starts! Make sure you rest and arent planning anything stressful, as it can make it hard emotionally! Wishing you all the best.
Miss C - your honeymoon sounds like it was divine! I know what you mean though about not taking your drugs on time, that happened to me as well! I am sure all will be fine! My DH said, why dont you just set an alarm! I will probably do that next time.
Big cheerio to Dusty, BG, BW, TL, HB and anyone else lurking! Hope you all got through Xmas OK! And if you arent back at work (like me), hope you are having a nice relaxing break!
Mon