LT TTC after Miscarriage or Loss #4

[Alice]

Hello everyone,

Sorry for the silence, I've been in hospital and to be honest it has been very upsetting two days. I ended up at Emergency with severe pain at 10pm on Wed night. My friend drove me (so grateful to her) and waited until DH could come from home. He arrived at midnight and we sat in the waiting room until 4am when the pain just got completely out of control and they had to admit me to the Emergency department. What followed was pretty tough - didn't see a doctor until 6 hours after arriving and then they sent me for x-rays. I mean, WTF? What are they going to see on an x-ray when I've presented with abdominal pain after an IVF procedure? But no, the gyno team wouldn't see me til I had x-rays. The gyno registrar finally came and said from the xrays that it looked like I was just constipated. I can't tell you how shaming that felt - my face must have burned like a beacon I was so embarrassed and upset that I might have 'made a fuss' and put so many people out only to be constipated! They weren't entirely sure so they took more blood and sent for the Colo-Rectal team who came and poked me EVERYWHERE and said no they thought it was something more serious and sent me for an CT scan. The scan showed fluid in my pelvis so they called the Gynie team back who then admitted me to a ward (it was 10am Thurs by now and we had not slept since Tues night!). The only ward that had a spare bed was the Heamatology ward so I've spent the past 48 hours with very very sick people. Wasn't until 2pm yesterday when I finally had an ultrasound and they all compared notes that I got the proper diagnosis of what had happened.

Looks like during the EPU the needle pierced a blood vessel that led to internal bleeding. The blood (about 1 cup full) then came into contact with my bowel and caused it to become irritated and distended which makes it slow down, so over the day it had filled with gas (sorry for TMI) that was trapped. Some of the blood spread up and came in contact with my diaphragm so that every time I breathed in I got an excruciating sharp pain that shot up my right hand side into my shoulder and neck. Every time I breathed in I got this awful pain which would make me panic and want to stop breathing then I'd take another breath, have more pain, start to cry, more pain then panic, not be able to breath and panic some more Poor DH went white as a sheet and had to run to the bathroom he was so upset to see me like that. It was awful. I have never had an anxiety attack before and after having two in 48 hours I hope I never have another one. It was very scary.

To top it off I'm allergic to opiates so can't have morphine, pethidine, anesthetic etc without throwing up so it took a while to convince me to take another painkiller that wouldn't make me vomit. Finally about 2pm, after being on a drip since 4am in case I had to have surgery, I was allowed to eat. I got to sleep about 4 and have just been sleeping and drinking liters of water ever since. They wanted to keep me in for another day but I asked if I could go home and after more blood they decided it would be OK.

Feel like I have been through the wringer It's hard not to get into a spiral of 'why us' 'cause it seems like there is always some bloody obstacle in the way every time we try to move forward but trying not to dwell on it. I didn't feel anything when the IVF nurse rang to tell us that 5 of my eggs had fertilised well. Apparently the transfer will still go ahead but the thought of having one more internal us or needle is making me feel sick. I hope I feel better tomorrow.

Will catch up with persies tomorrow - love to everyone x