Toomanyshoes, I'm so sorry about your twins, and your Dad. My BIL committed suicide six years ago so I have some idea of the grief associated with that but to loose your twins on top of it, is awful beyond anything I could imagine. It makes sense to me, what you are saying about not being able to cope with another loss. Part of the grief counseling I had after my mc helped me to understand how losses can sort of accumulate and reverberate with each experience. It's a hard decision to have to make but sounds like the right one for you, right now. Of course stay and stalk us - I'm not sure how much longer I will be here either but regardless I know I will keep stalking too - would love to see as many BFPs as there are names in this thread. Take care xx