Thanks everyone - it's really good to know that we're not alone.

DH and I saw an IVF counsellor today and it put a lot of things into perspective.

Apparently the first email we sent sounded like we were resigning from DH's family.

DH has sent another, more empathetic email and linked to the ACCESS site explaining to his family how we're feeling. He's also going to talk to his family again.

It's weird because this is the first time I've reacted this badly to the seasonal gathering. I've been living with infertility for a while but this year it really hurts.

As to what we'll do - we will attend DH's family gatherings - but only in short bursts. And I'll ask Mum if we can move my family's to the 24th (I don't know why a day makes a difference - but we did this last year - one of my brothers couldn't make it - it felt better for us). Then we are going on holidays to get over the whole thing.

Mako - I'm so sorry to hear about you losing your baby so close to Christmas. I will be thinking of you.

Hollybolly - at least all our nieces and nephews are one or older. I think it would be much harder if someone in the family was pregnant. Again, sending happy thoughts to you.

Thanks everyone so much - your thoughts really helped.