I can see everyone's points regarding my mother... However, she comes from a very matriarchal family and has very much tried to adopt the same role in ours. Unfortunately, I inherited her strong-will and stubbornness - which is very much part of the reason we don't get along that well. We can have some really spectacular clashes!

Both my mother and sister have a refusal to name things which worry them. I talked about this with my psychologist at length. If you refuse to name it, you give it more power over you. Me naming the things that were causing me anxiety has reduced my anxiety significantly. If mum's not going to name it, but I'm going to play into her hands, I think I'm simply encouraging a form of behaviour that isn't helpful. The psych and I agreed that it would be a bad idea to play the "things" game, so she hears nothing unless she can name it.

I suspect a lot of it comes from the fact that she is very fertile. I'm very infertile, she can't relate, can't understand, can't fix a problem that her child has... and so is absolutely terrified. I don't want to have to deal with her emotional problems regarding me needing IVF on top of my own, so it's just easier to cut her out of the loop.

Same with a lot of people who were previously kept informed. A miscarriage and some disastrous cycles, and the circle of people you trust tends to shrink significantly. IVF is a very isolating process. It's important to treat someone going through IVF as normal as possible. Sometimes, simply having a chat about the weather is so much better than being asked about the process - gives you a feeling that you are normal! It's important to show support and to let people know that you are thinking of them, but it's also important to be understanding that we won't always want to talk about it - and sometimes a conversation about normal, mundane things is needed so much more desperately than a talk about how it's effecting you today.

I think this IVF girl is hanging up her boxing gloves for the weekend. I so desperately needed to laugh myself silly in chat last night, and I'm feeling so much better for having done so! Thank you to everyone who dropped by

BW