I have experienced the loss of two babies to Anencephaly and hope that I may be of some help to you. I lost my first angel Sarah on July 22 in 1990, I was 22 weeks gestation and had just finished watching her on an ultrasound waving or so it seemed to me. 20 minutes later a doctor was telling me that if I carried my baby to term, she would live for an extremely limited timespan, days at most, and be in excruciating pain. I was too dumbfounded, to even consider what the doctor was saying to me but my partner took over. To this day, I remember walking out of that hospital that day faced with the decision of ending my pregnancy or allowing my child to suffer in pain. In the end, I decided to end the pregnancy although there has been times when I wish I hadnt. After Sarah's funeral, I fell pregnant again and it happened again! This time I was 20 weeks. The midwife told me it was a boy and we named him after his dad and donated him to research to help try and prevent this from happening to anyone else. I honestly do not think I have ever truly came to terms with those decisions. Its been 17 years since I lost Sarah, every year I buy a cake and some flowers for her birthday and light a candle at Christmas. She now has four younger siblings, aged 16, 15, 13 and 10. They all know about thier big sister and celebrate with me. I guess I just want you to know that I understand your grief and if you ever need a friend, please feel free to contact me. I still cry for Sarah today thinking of all she should be doing. Grieve in your own way in your own time and let no one rush you.

Julie