huge hugs huni - i really do understand the dilemma. iam waiting to go back to my fs and talk about the reality of pregnancy with the state my womb and organs are in and the pain etc from the scarred tissue. iam on morphine aswell for the pain so i don't know what to do myself.
i think you need to talk to your DH. I really hope things improve hun- its not easy.
if you want to talk pm me, lots of hugsxxxx