Nae, that's just the thing. I don't feel Joshua and I can't recall any subtle signs that he's around, maybe I'm missing them ?? Sometimes I have these clear dreams that my grandma gives me a huge hug and asks me how I am and that's her way of coming through in my dreams. That's why I thought Josh would do as well.

On another note.....Wanted to ask you hun, do you think you will really consider a stich next time you're pregnant ? I read your post somewhere else and I got to know your story a bit more. I think you said the doc didn't think it was IC it was the contractions that started the whole process. The thought also occured to me, but my OB said that my cervix was tight shut at my 20 w scan. My mum spoke to her doc and she mentioned the IC but I don't know why my doc won't even consider it as sometimes things progress from nothing to something in a short space of time....???

Lisa, I'm sorry for your loss and that's how I feel too about xmas too. Our boys were both from October, and at almost the same gestation ( 20 d 6 d ). I wonder if next xmas will feel differently....mum again tried to tell me today I should move on and shouldn't dwell in the past. I hardly think I can forget about Josh, I just don't get her.

I also bought Josh a hand painted xmas ball to hang on the tree, and I'll buy him a xmas gift too. i think that's such a lovely idea. I also have a sleeping baby in angel wings with 'Baby's first Christmas' I'll hang this up too.

Love and hugs to you both