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Thread: Eggberts Story

  1. #19
    Tigergirl1980 Guest

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    Oh Deb, again I cry for you and the loss of another baby. I am so very, very sorry that another baby has been taken away before being able to meet you. It's too, too cruel to such lovely people like you and so many other beautiful girls here on BB.

    I know that one day you will hold another beautiful baby in your arms and that's when you can say to the universe "Hahaha, I won this time".

    I'm so sorry that some mean and hurtful nurse told you to be quiet. What an awful person to be so insensitive towards you. Don't ever let anyone tell you ever again to be quiet. If you want to cry and cry loud then do it. It's your right as a mother who has lost her baby, don't let them silence you, just because it may embarrass them.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you hun. Sending you the biggest I can muster.


  2. #20

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    Deb,
    You know I'm sure that all your BB friends are thinking of you as you grieve the loss of your little one. I think I understand that your message is really about how others deal or rather don't deal with the news that a friend or relative has suffered the death of a baby that never had the chance to be born. I found like you that those who simply offered their silent support or said to me "there's no reason for this", "It sucks", "you'll have your baby", etc were the ones I appreciated the most. I think many believe if they can tell you there's a reason or it wasn't the right time that this will somehow make you feel better. I'm sure too that some people don't think of the loss as a death and therefore there's no correct "etiquette" when it comes to expressing their sorrow/sympathy. Even the words loss or lose sounds like you just went out and left it somewhere!! When you've had more than one many friends and relatives have an even harder time. It also feels as though society feels that there should be a finite time for you to "get over it"!
    As I have no living children I used to feel as though I couldn't even say to friends "when I was pregnant..." in case it made them feel uncomfortable BUT I no longer care how it makes others feel. They are my real experiences-- I was carrying a baby even though I have nothing to physically "show" for it. These pregnancies should not be experiences in my life that are locked away for the comfort of others.

    Thankyou for writing this piece Deb! It should be compulsory reading for all those at a loss to reach out to their friends at this time.
    We will hold babies in our arms- because we believe.

  3. #21

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    Hope,
    You have touched my heart. You shout your pregnancies from the roof tops. They are yours.
    I almost feel like I can't grieve around some people. This has been going on now for 18 months... was said to me. Yep, but it was actually going on for ME!

    I am going to write a book I think, I would love to help others to navigate their way through this and come out the other side holding a baby. That is what I would like to do.

    Something amazing just happened to me...
    I picked up my little boy from school. As we were driving along he was really quiet, obviously concentrating. At that second the "Live" song came on... Some of you may know it... Every time I have had a live baby I have played that song or heard it when I was in labour EVERY TIMe... I am not much of a singer so lucky there is no sound in here but the words go like this:

    Lightning crashes, a new mother cries
    Her placenta falls to the floor
    The angel opens her eyes
    The confusion sets in
    Before the doctor can even close the door

    Lightning crashes, an old mother dies
    Her intentions fall to the floor
    The angel closes her eyes
    The confusion that was hers
    Belongs now, to the baby down the hall

    Oh now feel it comin back again
    Like a rollin thunder chasing the wind
    Forces pullin from the center of the earth again
    I can feel it.

    Lightning crashes, a new mother cries
    This moment shes been waiting for
    The angel opens her eyes
    Pale blue colored iris, presents the circle
    And puts the glory out to hide, hide

    For me that song is about birth and death and how close together they are. How life is a circle. Oh I feel it comin back again, reminds me of the contractions of labour... For me this is a giving birth song. The beginning of life.

    Just at the very second that song begun Finn said to me Mummy do you know any Korean words. I said No I don't think I do. Do you? He said yep Egi. I said WHAT? Eggy is how I shortened Eggbert, but only to my husband my children had NEVER heard it. They didn't know we had named the baby. He said "do you know what that word means?" I said no what? He said: "baby". I asked him why he told me that. He said. mmm I just don't know... I almost had to stop the car. I know that it is going to be okay after that.. I just know.

    You believe too HOpe and Willow. We all have to keep the belief happening...

    We will have those babies.

  4. #22
    *TamaraP* Guest

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    Deb, I am sitting here with tears in my eyes... I am so very sorry to read the loss of your precious baby. Eggbert was loved by you so much and eggbert knows it. Eggbert also loved you as much as anyone could love their mummy.

    There is a little bundle of joy waiting around that corner for you...all your precious angels will make sure that their favourite mummy will bless you someday soon with a bundle of giggles.

    Lots of Hugs and Kisses....

  5. #23

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    Deb, I just want to hold you in a big, gentle hug... know that I'm crying with you, and I believe with you that you will have another baby, and this one will grow healthy and strong.:hugs:

    BW

  6. #24

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    Dearest Deb,

    I sit here crying tears for you, for Eggbert, all your babies, me and my Katelyn. The way you expressed what has happened really touched me. You are an extrememly special lady (and i have thought about this alot after getting to know you a little in our thread). I truly truly wish that things had been different and that Eggbert had been born into your loving arms. There is one thing that i believe with all my heart and that is that for the time that our babies are with us they DO know just how much they mean to us and just how much we love them. I wish i was close enough to give you that Hug because they are no words that can express my heartfelt sadness for you and your family over the tragedy of Eggberts Passing. If there is ever anything that i can do please let me know...My thoughts have been and are with you.

    All my love Sarah xx

  7. #25

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    Deb that just gave me cold shivers. Isn't it amazing how kids just KNOW some things.

  8. #26

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    Deb, my heart goes out to you. Im sending you a big hug right now.

  9. #27

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    Dear Deb

    I can not express to you in words how sorry I am for you and your family. You have had to experience something that no women should ever have to. The words that you wrote were so very raw and from the heart and I thank you for being so honest. Please just know that although I am a stranger to you, you and your beautiful little baby Eggbert are in my thoughts.

    "Parent hold their children's hands for a while and their hearts forever."

    <Hugs>
    Kristy

  10. #28

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    Deb, I am in tears reading your post. I am so so sorry that Eggbert, grew wings way too soon and never got to meet his/her wondeful parents and siblings.

    I wish there was something I could do to help take way or at least ease your pain. :hugs: I wish I lived closer so we could have a good cry together. My heart goes out to you and your family.

    I too know you will give birth to a healthy baby/babies oneday very soon.
    Last edited by kazz30; October 31st, 2006 at 05:31 PM.

  11. #29

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    Deb, I too am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. Your story is mine and unfortunately so many other beautiful women on this website. I am so terribly sorry that you will never get to hold your precious Eggbert in your arms but as the others have said, your little one will know he was loved more in his short time with you than so many others are in a lifetime.

    You should write your book. It should be compulsory reading for anyone who thinks they are "qualified" to offer advice to a woman who has just gone through one of the hardest experiences anyone will ever have to face. How dare anyone say "its for the best". The only possible thing that could be "for the best" is for your beautiful baby to be born fit and well and placed in the arms of his wonderful mother. Anything less is a tragedy.

    I wish you and your family love and support over what will be such a difficult time for you. You are obviously an incredibly strong woman, but you don't have to always be strong. I hope that there are people in your real world that step in and offer you the support, love and care you so desperately need and deserve right now.

    You will have your baby one day. I know you will.

  12. #30

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    Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry that your much loved and much wanted baby died. My thoughts are with you and your family. You have a true gift with words...I have never gone through the pain you have gone through, but you have explained so much to me. You're right about society not dealing with death well. We're never quite sure what to say. May you and your family be blessed with a new baby soon. *hug*

  13. #31

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    Deb, I really admire your strength and courage to write down what you have been through over the last few years.

    It is tremendously difficult to endure the death of a much wanted child. I use the word "endure", because I feel that, like you, the child will always be wanted, loved and missed. It is something that many women live with every day of their lives. Not a day goes by that I don't miss my little angel.

    I truly hope and pray that you will be blessed with another child, a new child, a blessing from above, whom you will love and cherish like all your children, whether living here on Earth or flying high, watching over you and your family.

    Love, peace, hugs, and very many thoughts...

  14. #32

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    Deb, you say it so well.........your book will be a bestseller. Any little soul out there now trying to pick its mother, would be lucky to have you.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  15. #33

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    Deb...what can i say? There is nothing that i can say about the loss of dear Eggbert, but just know that you and your family are in my thoughts and I am sending you a big, teary .The way you have written your feelings - it couldn't have been written any better. Thank you for such beautiful, emotional writing.

  16. #34

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    Finn sounds like a special little boy. That must have been an amazing thing to happen!!

  17. #35
    Melinda Guest

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    Oh Deb. Where on earth do I begin......

    I am so deeply sorry to hear about the loss of your darling Eggbert. Life has dealt you some cruel blows - it's just not fair that you have lost your precious babes. It's so unfair that 'unfair' doesn't seem like an appropriate word.......

    I hope that by expressing your feelings here, it has brought you some sense of peace and has been therapeutic. What you have expressed here is a testament to the love you not only have for Eggbert, but for your other precious angels too - an undying mother's love that knows no boundaries.

    Please know that you are in my heart and my love and thoughts are with you. If I could be with you right now to hold your hand during these dark hours, then I would in a heartbeat. I sincerely want you to know that......I wish in some way I could soothe your pain.

  18. #36

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    I dont know anything about you, except your post had me in tears. I have never lost a child, i have never miscarried, so i cant even say to you i know a little bit how you feel. I will always look at your name on BB now with amazement, respect, courage - you are an amazing person . If someone handed your life experiences to me i think i would turn away and crumble.
    Thank you for writing this and letting us know a little bit about Eggbert........



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