Deb, I am struggling to find the words to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your precious baby. What I wouldn't do to be in the room right now and be able to give you a hug; to try and take some of your pain away.
What a tremendous woman you are with such an undeniable strength and belief. There is a beautiful little soul floating around right now, just waiting for the perfect moment....knowing that it is your child. That child will go strong in your womb and when that beautiful child is born to this wold, there will never be a more cherished and loved baby.
Deb, I just want to hold you in a big, gentle hug... know that I'm crying with you, and I believe with you that you will have another baby, and this one will grow healthy and strong.:hugs:
I can not express to you in words how sorry I am for you and your family. You have had to experience something that no women should ever have to. The words that you wrote were so very raw and from the heart and I thank you for being so honest. Please just know that although I am a stranger to you, you and your beautiful little baby Eggbert are in my thoughts.
"Parent hold their children's hands for a while and their hearts forever."
Deb, I am in tears reading your post. I am so so sorry that Eggbert, grew wings way too soon and never got to meet his/her wondeful parents and siblings.
I wish there was something I could do to help take way or at least ease your pain. :hugs: I wish I lived closer so we could have a good cry together. My heart goes out to you and your family.
I too know you will give birth to a healthy baby/babies oneday very soon.
Last edited by kazz30; October 31st, 2006 at 04:31 PM.
I dont know anything about you, except your post had me in tears. I have never lost a child, i have never miscarried, so i cant even say to you i know a little bit how you feel. I will always look at your name on BB now with amazement, respect, courage - you are an amazing person . If someone handed your life experiences to me i think i would turn away and crumble.
Thank you for writing this and letting us know a little bit about Eggbert........
Deb - I`m sitting here with tears in my eyes, it`s just not fair that this is happening to you, your baby was very much loved and wanted, just like they all are. I can feel your heartbreak and I wish I could be there for you, I`d be the one with tears flowing down my face, giving you a hug without saying a word, sharing your grief.
By the sounds of things Eggbert is certainly with you, just like his/her other 4 angel sisters/brothers are - they are always with us and looking after us - I know this for a fact, I feel my little one with me and Adrian.
One day, very, very soon you`ll be holding your precious bundle of joy and I`ll be here sitting on the side of my chair waiting anxiously for that wonderful news, what a fabulous day that will be and it will happen Deb, I know it will.
Oh Deb, again I cry for you and the loss of another baby. I am so very, very sorry that another baby has been taken away before being able to meet you. It's too, too cruel to such lovely people like you and so many other beautiful girls here on BB.
I know that one day you will hold another beautiful baby in your arms and that's when you can say to the universe "Hahaha, I won this time".
I'm so sorry that some mean and hurtful nurse told you to be quiet. What an awful person to be so insensitive towards you. Don't ever let anyone tell you ever again to be quiet. If you want to cry and cry loud then do it. It's your right as a mother who has lost her baby, don't let them silence you, just because it may embarrass them.
My thoughts and prayers are with you hun. Sending you the biggest I can muster.
Hope,
You have touched my heart. You shout your pregnancies from the roof tops. They are yours.
I almost feel like I can't grieve around some people. This has been going on now for 18 months... was said to me. Yep, but it was actually going on for ME!
I am going to write a book I think, I would love to help others to navigate their way through this and come out the other side holding a baby. That is what I would like to do.
Something amazing just happened to me...
I picked up my little boy from school. As we were driving along he was really quiet, obviously concentrating. At that second the "Live" song came on... Some of you may know it... Every time I have had a live baby I have played that song or heard it when I was in labour EVERY TIMe... I am not much of a singer so lucky there is no sound in here but the words go like this:
Lightning crashes, a new mother cries
Her placenta falls to the floor
The angel opens her eyes
The confusion sets in
Before the doctor can even close the door
Lightning crashes, an old mother dies
Her intentions fall to the floor
The angel closes her eyes
The confusion that was hers
Belongs now, to the baby down the hall
Oh now feel it comin back again
Like a rollin thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin from the center of the earth again
I can feel it.
Lightning crashes, a new mother cries
This moment shes been waiting for
The angel opens her eyes
Pale blue colored iris, presents the circle
And puts the glory out to hide, hide
For me that song is about birth and death and how close together they are. How life is a circle. Oh I feel it comin back again, reminds me of the contractions of labour... For me this is a giving birth song. The beginning of life.
Just at the very second that song begun Finn said to me Mummy do you know any Korean words. I said No I don't think I do. Do you? He said yep Egi. I said WHAT? Eggy is how I shortened Eggbert, but only to my husband my children had NEVER heard it. They didn't know we had named the baby. He said "do you know what that word means?" I said no what? He said: "baby". I asked him why he told me that. He said. mmm I just don't know... I almost had to stop the car. I know that it is going to be okay after that.. I just know.
You believe too HOpe and Willow. We all have to keep the belief happening...
Deb, I am sitting here with tears in my eyes... I am so very sorry to read the loss of your precious baby. Eggbert was loved by you so much and eggbert knows it. Eggbert also loved you as much as anyone could love their mummy.
There is a little bundle of joy waiting around that corner for you...all your precious angels will make sure that their favourite mummy will bless you someday soon with a bundle of giggles.
I sit here crying tears for you, for Eggbert, all your babies, me and my Katelyn. The way you expressed what has happened really touched me. You are an extrememly special lady (and i have thought about this alot after getting to know you a little in our thread). I truly truly wish that things had been different and that Eggbert had been born into your loving arms. There is one thing that i believe with all my heart and that is that for the time that our babies are with us they DO know just how much they mean to us and just how much we love them. I wish i was close enough to give you that Hug because they are no words that can express my heartfelt sadness for you and your family over the tragedy of Eggberts Passing. If there is ever anything that i can do please let me know...My thoughts have been and are with you.
Deb, I too am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. Your story is mine and unfortunately so many other beautiful women on this website. I am so terribly sorry that you will never get to hold your precious Eggbert in your arms but as the others have said, your little one will know he was loved more in his short time with you than so many others are in a lifetime.
You should write your book. It should be compulsory reading for anyone who thinks they are "qualified" to offer advice to a woman who has just gone through one of the hardest experiences anyone will ever have to face. How dare anyone say "its for the best". The only possible thing that could be "for the best" is for your beautiful baby to be born fit and well and placed in the arms of his wonderful mother. Anything less is a tragedy.
I wish you and your family love and support over what will be such a difficult time for you. You are obviously an incredibly strong woman, but you don't have to always be strong. I hope that there are people in your real world that step in and offer you the support, love and care you so desperately need and deserve right now.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry that your much loved and much wanted baby died. My thoughts are with you and your family. You have a true gift with words...I have never gone through the pain you have gone through, but you have explained so much to me. You're right about society not dealing with death well. We're never quite sure what to say. May you and your family be blessed with a new baby soon. *hug*
Deb...what can i say? There is nothing that i can say about the loss of dear Eggbert, but just know that you and your family are in my thoughts and I am sending you a big, teary .The way you have written your feelings - it couldn't have been written any better. Thank you for such beautiful, emotional writing.
Deb, I really admire your strength and courage to write down what you have been through over the last few years.
It is tremendously difficult to endure the death of a much wanted child. I use the word "endure", because I feel that, like you, the child will always be wanted, loved and missed. It is something that many women live with every day of their lives. Not a day goes by that I don't miss my little angel.
I truly hope and pray that you will be blessed with another child, a new child, a blessing from above, whom you will love and cherish like all your children, whether living here on Earth or flying high, watching over you and your family.
Deb, you say it so well.........your book will be a bestseller. Any little soul out there now trying to pick its mother, would be lucky to have you.
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