Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #1

**bettyboop** · December 19th, 2007, 07:42 AM

Anthonysmom how are you doing?

**Anthonysmom** · December 19th, 2007, 08:27 AM

hi bettyboop - I am hanging in there. Not really looking forward to the holidays. Trying to concentrate on other things, like my DH and I are renovating our home. I am looking forward to next week off (I am a teacher and we get a week around Christmas). Basically I am trying to cope the best I can. How are thigns wih you. Has AF visited you yet?

Barbara

**bettyboop** · December 19th, 2007, 08:34 AM

I am doing ok ,i have a bad day every now and then.AF has still not arrived, has been nearly 8 weeks.You will be pleased to have a break.

**Anthonysmom** · December 19th, 2007, 08:55 AM

I still have many bad days. I am learning which people I can lean on and which feel uncomfortable with me. It helps to have people who truly understand like the wonderful ladies here. It also helps to haev a few friends who can understand that this is a long healing process. Also I have had awful back pain since the m/c. My OB is sending me to a specialist. With my luck I will have a slipped disc in my back or something.

**bettyboop** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:02 PM

how are you doing?

**Anthonysmom** · February 10th, 2008, 10:23 AM

hey betty - hope all is well. i should be Oing any day now. it is sooo weird to be TTC again. i know you have a dr appt this week. fingers crossed for you.

Barbara

*Tania* · May 9th, 2008, 02:20 PM

Hi my name is Tania, I am 29 years old. I live in Central Queensland and happily married to my husband and best friend. I have Two beautiful Daughters here on earth Tahlia (4) & Matilda (2), one very adorable daughter in heaven Chloe (6) and 3 amazing angels in heaven.

**tempus moriendi** · May 11th, 2008, 12:30 PM

I'm so sorry for your losses, and I'll keep you in my prayers. Sending cyberhug.

HollyWood · August 26th, 2008, 04:03 AM

Uhmm, i dunno how this thing works...uhh, i'm 17 so still pretty young and 16 weeks pregnant. I'm afraid that i've had a miscarriage...I don't know if i have i'm just paranoid. I don't know signs or anything but i was having pains in my back the other night...like on my right side inbetween my ribs and my hip..Does that mean anything? I'm really scared and i haven't talked to my mom or anything but i just need some help. :'(

**cheekyfrog** · August 26th, 2008, 07:29 AM

If you're worried, HollyWood, you should go up to emergency at your local hospital to have things checked out. Maternity should be able to check your bub's heartbeat with a doppler to put your mind at ease. Good luck

Hope all is well.

**bettyboop** · August 26th, 2008, 03:10 PM

hollywood, please go and get it checked out

**Emmykate82** · August 26th, 2008, 04:41 PM

Hi all,
I was just advised to join this forum as i had lost my first preg last night at 7wks.

I thought everything was going so well. My husband and i had planned this pregnancy (both of our first) to a tee... and were elated to find we were pregnant. I had some very very mild spotting of dark brown blood for 2 days only when i wiped.. and last night just started bleeding out of nowhere. The hardest part was being at the hospital having an internal exam and watching them remove bub's tissue with forceps and place it in a jar. Needless to say i have had nightmares about this all night.

My hubby is very supportive but i feel so lost. I know this is a natural reaction. I know many women go through this.. i have watched it a dozen times (I am a doctor).. but that doesnt make me feel any better.

I dont know how i will feel above being intimate with my hubby again let alone trying to conceive again. I fear i will be so strung out if i do fall preg again.

I wish there was an answer to all of this.. a reason why. But there isn't. I only

that next time is a positive experience. I am of healthy age, i have a healthy relationship, i have alot to offer and i WANT a child...why does it seem so hard?

HollyWood · August 27th, 2008, 11:14 AM

What are the signs of a miscarriage? I'm not bleeding, my boobs are still sore, i'm so confused and i don't wanna go to the hospital for no reason, i atleast wanna be 70% sure that i might have miscarried.

This sucks so bad. I'm always scared of this. Would i miscarry for no reason at all cause i know within the first 3 months you can but can that still be the case now? Would i feel any moving by now? Sorry, these are all questions i feel uncomfortable asking my mom.

**Emmykate82** · August 27th, 2008, 11:50 AM

Hi Hollywood,
Every woman is different and every sign means something different to different people...
You are 16 weeks along so that is reassuring... as most people miscarry in the first trimester.
Often pains in the back/side can be from your uterus stretching to accommodate the growing bub... sometimes they can feel like period pain.
If you are miscarrying you will often have a combination of pain (cramps), bleeding (usually fresh blood but not necessarily a lot of it) and loss of pregnancy signs (no more sore boobs, no more constipation, no more acne).
It is really important that you see your doctor of go to the local ED as it isnt healthy for you or your bub if you are worrying. I know this is easier said than done.
When was your last beta hCG level done? Often your doctor can repeat it to see if it is doubling every couple of days.. Also are you having antenatal care anywhere yet because if you call them you can often get in to have an ultrasound to check everything is ok. Dont be scared to go to the ED at the hospital - that is what they are there for.

I hope you have a support person that can be with you while you are stressing. Please try not to worry as i wonder if that is why i lost my baby - too much stress... i regret it now.

I'm thinking positive thoughts for you. Please call someone TODAY - GP/Emergency Department/Antenatal Clinic.

Emily

HollyWood · August 27th, 2008, 12:18 PM

I haven't lost any pregnancy signs, and i've only been for one ultrasound so far which was about a week and a half ago and the only doctors appointment i've been to was just to like verify that i was pregnant cause i didn't really tell anyone until i was 13 weeks along. I go for my first check up this week and then i'm not sure what happens from there. I haven't had any signs of a miscarriage either. Maybe i'm just worrying too much but i have been REALLY stressed the past week or so so that's what's freakin me out. I haven't felt any moving either but this is my first baby and i heard you sometimes can't feel any moving till 20 weeks. I'm not even getting that big i just have a little bump and that's it. I dunno, i haven't even talked to my boyfriend about this, he'd freak.

**Emmykate82** · August 27th, 2008, 01:10 PM

Hollywood i think you need to try and calm yourself down. I know that is easier said than done. At the end of the day there is nothing that you can do for this baby other than be at ease, rest and eat well. I was so scared in my pregnancy - every second. It is really hard when you dont know what to expect. I think you need to be open with your boyfriend, because it will take the pressure off you and if he is in it for the long haul, then he needs to be part of the WHOLE experience - the worry and all.

If you are home alone, try having a nice hot shower, snuggling in bed or watching some crappy day time TV or a movie.

If you have had no bleeding, no particularly bad cramps and have not lost any signs of pregnancy... and given that you are in your second trimester... i think it is unlikely that anything is wrong. Having said this, i didnt make it as far along as you are so i cant really be sure.. but i am a doctor and the things you describe sound reassuring. Noone holds a crystal ball darl, so we never know what might happen down the track but you are doing everything right and your little bubba is probably all curled up tight asleep in there having the time of its life.

Express your concerns at your check up later this week. It is important to make sure the staff you are dealing with know exactly how you feel. don't forget they deal with this ALL the time.

Also you should really look into routine antenatal care at the hospital you are planning on giving birth at. It can be super helpful to have support only a phone call away and in your situation where you are uncomfortable talking to your mum, and you are naturally scared about your first baby, and you are still quite young... it could really be helpful to have someone neutral on side. Please look into it.

Let me know how things go.

**Inanna** · August 27th, 2008, 01:21 PM

Hollywood welcome to Belly Belly and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Pregnancy can be and is for many women a stressful time. I am glad you have had some antenatal care - an ultrasound a week or so ago showed a live baby - at 16 weeks sadly women do lose their babies but thankfully most women who reach 12 weeks will go on to birth live babies. So you have every reason to believe that your baby is fine. The pains you describe sound a lot like stretching pains - even though your baby is still very tiny the uterus is growing and stretching - it's never stretched like this before! So, it can cause some discomfort.

I am sorry that you are feeling so alone and unable to speak to your Mum - this is a time of great vulnerability. Please ensure you go to all of your antenatal appointments and seek out some support for your birth and early parenting.

I think you are amazing - you are so young but so dedicated to this life inside you. I think that is very special.

You can have a look through Belly Belly and perhpas join a Belly buddies group - for babies due at the time you are. This will give you some support from other women who are navigating pregnancy at the same stage you are at.

If the pain becomes severe or if there is any bleeding attatched please seek medical advice asap.

Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy my love.

**Inanna** · August 27th, 2008, 01:26 PM

Emmykate - I am sorry for the loss of your baby.

I understand and know the shock, sadness and grief that accompanies the loss of a baby - please know in time the sadness will lessen.
It doesn't seem fair I understand, when you want a baby so very much to have it taken from you.
Sending all my love and comfort as you grieve.