I am so sorry for your loss Nadia, I hope you are feeling a little better, I dont think you are pathetic or incapable of making a decision at all this is a very difficult time and it makes things very hard when the ones we love try to protect us but in turn confuse our thoughts and we end up not knowing what to do, it is hard I know my DH was very confused as his mum has been really adiment that we are not meant to have anymore and my mum is just very concearned about my health but we have decided to wait a year and then start trying again so that my body heals properly and so that I can get a bit healthier,
I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you feel better soon, I also totaly understand what you mean when you say you have already greived I kinda feel the same way I am still very sad by everything that has happened but I know there was a reason for it I wish that things were different but accept what has happend.
huge {{HUGS}} to you Nadia