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Thread: Today we welcomed our son into our home

  1. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by barbie-up View Post
    Can I ask a question, and please remove it if I am out of line at all and I'm sorry if I am - was it a hard decision to cremate your babies rather than bury them ?
    I guess for us it was deciding that we weren't ready to let Caitlyn go and to bury her means that we had to leave her somewhere. DH's family offered us use of one of the family plots but we didn't want to have her in one place when we lived in another. Having her cremated means she will be with us always - physically and spiritually. We don't plan living here forever and I would hate for my baby to be somewhere I'm not. A headstone wasn't the same. Plus she was a baby ... she couldn't be left there alone.

    Also, it has been healing for me in the past year to be able to hold her when I need to, have her sit on my lap when I am feeling sad, and to take to our room and sit on my side table when I need her presence close. It may sound mad but if I couldn't have my baby, then this was the next best option.


  2. #20

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    Sep 2004
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    Kirsty, You should be proud of yourself and the step you have taken. It has been such a hard road and Thomas is finally at home where you can look after him and where he can look after you guys too.

    :hugs: to you, my friend.

  3. #21

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    Nov 2004
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    Giving the gift of life to a friend..
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    Kirsty, Congratulations on bringing your son ~Thomas~ home where he belongs with his family!!!!

  4. #22

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    May 2005
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    Well done kirsty.. this is a huge step & an important step... as you said it is their problem if ppl have a problem with it... i am sure ppl will soon

    When I ws in NICU with Alexa, a mum their had twins at 25 weeks & lost 1 after 9 days... she had his ashes in a box & carried him everywhere with her in a baby bag, with his teddy & picture... at first when I realised (she told me) I was honestly surprised & shocked, but it didnt take long for me to become comfortable with him being with us & even "looked after" him when his mum went into the unit to see his bother....

    To some it may be wierd (it was to me at first), but I soon realised as will others, that it is a wonderful thing that this special little person is around in their own way & will never be forgotten!!!


    Big hugs to you chicky....

    mitch

  5. #23
    Fire Fly Guest

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    Kirsty, i cant imaging losing 2 bubs like you have. I think if people are offended by your wishes then they arent worth haveing around. He is part of the family and if you wish to have him in the house as he should be then thats your decision not theirs.

    I hope this never ever happens to you again and that one day you are blessed with a bub to hold and nurture for life. So sorry for your losses.:hugs: my heart truly goes out to you.

  6. #24

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    Well done Kirsty. What a beautiful and wonderful step you have taken bringing Thomas home.

  7. #25

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    Kirsty,
    Your man Thomas is with his family, its such a beautiful thing to do.
    Bec

  8. #26

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    Kirsty,

    You are a strong woman and wonderful loving mother. Little Thomas is now safe in your home as well as your heart. Just the place he's meant to be.

    My heart goes out to you.

    *hugs*
    Cailin

  9. #27
    kirsty Guest

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    Thanx so much for all your support. ~Thomas~ has always been home but always displayed as a brown cardboard box (LOL) it is just now that I have had the strength to be able to look at his urn & not burst into tears every time I see it.

    Someone asked about whether the decision to cremate our little man was easy or hard, for us it was easy. Burial never even entered the equation for my DH & I, I couldn't bear to put him in the ground & walk away, let alone go through the process of an actual funeral to walk away without him. However it still wasn't a decision made easily, & of course we wish like mad that it was a decision that we should never have had to contemplate.

  10. #28
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    Well done, Kirsty. Personally I think it's sweet... and nuts to anyone that thinks otherwise!
    Thomas is a very much loved part of your family so it's only fitting that he have pride of place in the home

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