Hi Smegs,

Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss and I am thinking of you during this difficult time. I, too had a similar situation to yours several weeks ago. I was almost 10wks pregnant when we were told our baby's heartbeat stopped...for three wks prior to that I watched our baby on u/sound every week and it too was not growing. During week 2 my OB told me to go home and "wait to miscarry".... but it didn't happen! A week later our baby passed away and I had a D&C the following day. It is interesting that your dr has suggested natural miscarriage considering it could be a long (and painful) process....I do not want to alarm you with this info but be prepared for this. My OB explained that some women may not miscarry for weeks which could lead to other complications....on the other hand, it could happen quite quickly for you....Please consider all options and speak to your dr again about the pros & cons of waiting for a 'miscarriage' to occur. How long should you wait b4 a D&C is suggested and do you want to go thru this at home? I know you are probably thinking about all this already and I am not sure whether you feel you can cope with the 'waiting' b/c I certainly couldn't. The week I waited at home to 'miscarry' was bloody awful! I was petrified of it happening at home considering I didn't know what to expect. At least with the D&C you know its over after the operation....Another important thing for me was that I couldn't cope (emotionally) with the idea of carrying a baby that had passed away so therefore I wouldn't even consider a natural miscarriage...

I am sorry if this is too graphic or confronting, esp. at a time like this but I feel for you and want you to make the best decision for yourself. Just think about the above issues and if miscarrying 'naturally' is a priority for you, then go ahead with that....just make sure you discuss exactly what that means with your dr....as for the physical pain, it can obviously go either way. Some women have mild to severe pain with or without a D&C - that's just the roll of the dice! Hopefully, you will get by with very little pain....

Please be comforted with the fact that I, and all the other women reading this, are thinking of you and are here to support you throughout this difficult time.....Take care sweetie and I am praying for you.....