If he doesn't want nappies, can you try MCN pull ups? They are undie style so look less like nappies. DS decided out of the blue at Xmas that he'd only poo on the toilet (2y8m), but it wasn't until March that he tried to wee on there...pretty much trained in two days. I just showed him his undies and told him occasionally that whenever he wanted to try weeing on the potty/toilet, he could. And when he got good at it, he could wear undies instead of nappies. No pressure though. He now wears undies at night too, but has had an occasional accident overnight....

My opinion...Leave the potty/toilet seat out, remind him that he can try whenever he wants, let him see you go, but otherwise, put him back in nappies til he's ready. No pressure. Ignore day care.