Not sure if t his is in the right place becasue of DSS age so please move if required.

My DSS stopped wearing night time nappoes when he was about 3 (nearly 7 years ago) and he did fairly well - accidents maybe fortnightly
From the age of about 6 he has steadily got worse and he is now wetting the bed most nights.
There are a few things that are contributing to this
1) when he was 6 his Mum went off the rails a bit (drug taking and poor behaviour) so i think this started for attention seeking.
2) His Mum doesnt like washing sheets so puts him in dry nites, because it doesnt matter if he is wet
3) he has been doing it for so long now that he really believe that most kids still do, its normal behaviour and that he will just stop one day all by himself/

Things we have done over the years
He has been to RCh for bed wetting alarms - his mum didnt like it thou as it woke her up
put on medication for spasming bladder (ditropan) but that wasnt the problem so all it did was hype him up and make him aggressive (off them now)
Had a reward system with stars
We would stay up until midnight to wake him to go to the toilet - his Mum wouldnt do it as she would be too tired
We bought him an alarm to set so she wouldnt have to get up but it would wake her too so she wouldnt let him use it

We recognise that she will not do the same things as us, so it makes his learning very difficult, we have also tried talking with him and explaining that the reason that he gets so many colds is because he lies in his wee all night (he doesnt get up if he is wet, just takes off his clothes and finds a dry spot in the bed)
We have also taken away some of the things that he likes as a form of punishment, ie no sleep overs and not allowed to ride his motorbike (rationale: these are for kids that are grown up - not babies)

Now before anyone jumps up and down about the punishment thing please realise 2 things
1)we have nothing else to try
2) he is aware that he needs to go to the toilet - in fact he wakes up, but then chooses not to go to the toilet.

Oh yeah, when we renovated we changed all our plans and put in another toilet that is close to his bedroom so that he doesnt have far to go.

It has now got to the point that we dont want to take him away on hoildays with us, as we know that every morning i will have to strip the sheets and wash them (this also rules out us staying in hotels as it is embarressing that he distroys beds)
He sleeps on a 'pinky' which is also known as a 'kylie' which i got from the hospital... they are used as adult incontinence sheets and cover the most of bed - but he still manages to wet the pillow, doona cover, the pinky and the bottom sheet.

We have tried to reason with his mum, to get her to take some action, but DSS tells us that when he wets his drynite, he takes it off and if his bed is wet he will just go and sleep in her bed with her.

He is on School Camp for the first time in a month and we have tried telling him that even though the teachers will help him bne discreet, if any of the other kids find out that he is bed wetting most nights he will be teased... he said he had already thought of that and just thought that he would wear his drynites and then that would be all fine - we have asked him how he will get them on and off without anyone knowing - the disposal is the thing that he will find more difficult

I am now at the stage (i know that this is awful) that i am almost hoping that he will get teased at school camp as then he will know that we have been trying to help him all along

Oh yeah - last thing, when we use to sit him down and tell him that we were really disappointed etc and he needs to stop - his Mum would ringthe next week telling us thet DSS didnt want to come over as he is worried that he would wet his bed and get tyold off - so he would stay with her and be allowed to wet the bed.

Anyone got any other ideas????

We now dread getting up in the morning as we know that we are going to be met with a smell room and i will have to do a load of washing at 6am before going to work.

Thanks and i hope you all dont think that i am awful