gwen,
i know that there is nothing that anyone can say or do to make it better, and make the ache go away.
My twins were born at 31 weeks, and we were lucky for them to survive. They were in NICU /special care for 33 long days and came home at 36week gestation.

The way that i coped is that i knew that they were in the best place, and at least I knew that they weere going to eventually come home.

It is the worse thing to drive off and leave you baby behind - but it is the best feeling when you finally get to drive away from the hospital with your baby in the back of your car. I cried more from relief when they left hospital than i did when i had to leave them behind .

time will pass quicky, even though it seems like it won't.

don't be afraid to ask questions, don't be afraid to be assertive with the care that you want your daughter to receive. You are still her mother, and she is not just a patient - she is your daughter.
hope this make sense
take care of yourself
odette