thread: Missing her!

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2004
    Wales, UK

    Missing her!

    I spend every spare minute I have with Seren, but staring at her through the incubater makes me feel so sad sometimes. I just want to pick her up when I want, to cuddle her, and to just look after her - but I know I can't, and it breaks my heart. Leaving her to comer home at the end of each day just seems to get harder and harder.

    Wonder how other mum's cope with this?? 8-[

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Apr 2004
    Sydney, NSW

    Oh Gwen, my heart breaks with you!

    I am just really glad that you and little Seren are doing well though.

    I know the next 4+ weeks will go very slowly, but just think you'll have a lifetime to get to know your little lady. She is such a little fighter already.

    I hope you are recovering well and that hubby is around for support.

    Take care and let us know how you are both going. It will be hard till the day you take her home, and even then you'll probably have up and down days.

    Take good care,

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Nov 2004
    Chasing Daylight...

    Hi Gwen

    I got through it with a fantastic support team, my faith in God and I always kept in the top of my mind "this is such a short time in the overall lifetime of my child".

    I tried to spend as much time as I could at the hospital with my son, and when I came home to my little girl, my DH would go to be with him. So he didn't miss out too much on being with his Mum and Dad.

    And even though it hurts us, it's the best place for them to grow stronger. That gave me comfort, too.

    Big hugs to you, just take it one day at a time.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Mar 2005


    Oh darlin, I no how you are feeling, as both my babies were 35weeks and both not aloud in with me and I to had to look at them through those horrible things too.
    My heart broke each time id see her, then him turn over or stuggle or even cry,it broke me in two.

    But in the end I tried to remember that it was the closest thing that sheand then he had to still being inside and then that kinda made me feel a bit better.

    Don't forget that the midwives deal with this every day and they do understand, so talk to them and maybe get a little reasurance.

    Can you touch her through the issolete, and hold her hands, tell her you love her and will hold her soon-believe me she knows your there.

    Take care angel.xxxx 4 u

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Outer Eastern Subs - Melb

    Gwen honey,

    I know it must be the hardest thing to leave Seren at the hospital when you have to go home. But remember it is the best place for her. She will be there such a short time in the scheme of things, and you will watch her grow and get strong along the way. Before you know she will be coming home with you.

    Stay strong Gwen, we're all here to support you.


  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2004


    Are you not able to stay with Seren at the hospital ??

    When i had Kimberley i had a room so i was able to spend day and night at the hospital.

    I know leaving her everyday must be so hard for you.

  7. #7
    kirsty Guest

    Gwen I know exactly how you are feeling. Right about now you are probably feeling like you don't even have a baby at times?? I know that that is how I felt after having my first son at 32wks. The first time I saw him he was in a humidicrib & was only allowed to hold him for about 10mins. Not what I was expecting as a first time mum at all. But the NICUnit was terrific & I could sit with him for as long as I wanted day or night. I found it hard too because my partner & support system was 5hrs away at home. However we had a little fighter & after 5days he was transferred to a hospital closer to home, & this is where he finally made it out of the humidicrib & into a normal cot.
    For me the hardest bit was not being able to hold my baby whenever I wanted. All I wanted to do was have him in my arms & would often end up back in my room in tears, but just kept telling myself that it was all necessary so that we would have our little boy in our lives for the long haul. I used to just sit with him for hours talking to him or just holding his hand, anything so that he got to know my touch, smell & my sounds.
    Wishing you every success in this as before you know it you will be holding your daughter in your arms & you will forget all the times that you couldn't hold her. This is a short but necessary separation for you guys to be able to take home a perfectly healthy little baby girl to fill your lives with love, laughter & joy for many years to come.

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2005
    out and about

    I agree its a very tough time, and I cried buckets, when I had to leave the twins in hospital and come home every day. they were only in three weeks, but I did not really feel like they were my babies til I got them home. Seren is in the best hands ,and I know your heart is breaking every time you walk away, but it wont be long until she's in your arms, and you can hold her whenever you want. Big hugs, chin up, youll get her back in the end!!!

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2005

    Oh Gwen. I have nothing constructive to offer but big for you.

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2004

    i know that there is nothing that anyone can say or do to make it better, and make the ache go away.
    My twins were born at 31 weeks, and we were lucky for them to survive. They were in NICU /special care for 33 long days and came home at 36week gestation.

    The way that i coped is that i knew that they were in the best place, and at least I knew that they weere going to eventually come home.

    It is the worse thing to drive off and leave you baby behind - but it is the best feeling when you finally get to drive away from the hospital with your baby in the back of your car. I cried more from relief when they left hospital than i did when i had to leave them behind .

    time will pass quicky, even though it seems like it won't.

    don't be afraid to ask questions, don't be afraid to be assertive with the care that you want your daughter to receive. You are still her mother, and she is not just a patient - she is your daughter.
    hope this make sense
    take care of yourself

  11. #11
    Ex adm!n, quietly rusting....

    Feb 2004

    Awww Gwen for both you & Seren.

  12. #12
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Nov 2003
    SE Melbourne


    I totally know how you are feeling. It is just so hard to have your baby there but not be allowed to pick her up when you want.

    I had Hayley at 34.4w, and it was really hard. I didnt get to hold her until she was 3 days old and even then only in the nursery. I came home on day 6 and Hayley was kept in there for what seemed like an eternity longer, really it was just over 2w.

    I know what you mean about finding it hard to leave every night. I was the same, but I have 2 other children to look after, so it was slightly easier.

    I have to say that I am really proud of you for bonding with your baby so well, it is the one thing that I just refused to let myself do and its horrible.

    Seren is just gorgeous, so beautiful.

    I hope that it wont be long until she is home with you! Keep us updated n her progress.


  13. #13
    Ex adm!n, quietly rusting....

    Feb 2004

    Awww Gwen, I just looked at her website - Seren is so adorable

    How's she going now?

  14. #14
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Apr 2004
    Sydney, NSW

    Hi Gwen,

    Jus thought I would let you know I am thinking of you and Seren.

    Hope everything is progressing smoothly and that you are getting near to taking your baby home.

  15. #15
    nicadela Guest

    Oh Gwen, I so know how you are feeling. Isabella was born 31 wks gestation and was in the humidicrib for a while and her progression went very slowly. She went home at 39 wks gestation, spending 8 wks in hospital and since shes been home, we just treasure every precious minute with her, she is our little princess. Althought you cannot hold your little one yet, just being there for him is great. When you get to hold her, put her to your chest and she will instinctively know that you are his mum. It is such a wonderful feeling.

    Born 3/2/05, 9 wks premature

  16. #16
    kirsty Guest

    Hi Gwen I keep popping in from time to time in the hopes that I will see a post from you letting us know that you have gotten Seren home. Hope that she will be home with you soon & that all is well.

  17. #17
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2004

    Hi Gwen,

    I too keep popping in to see if you have posted that Seren is home with you.

    How is Seren going?? How are you and DH going?? Hope everything is going well.

    Take Care matey

  18. #18
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2004
    Wales, UK

    Thanks girls, for all the lovely posts of encouragement and support! Seren came home with us yesterday, weighing just under 4lbs!

    It is lovely to finally have her home! I am really over protective of her, and I think I have some baby blues but that's ok. I'm just so grateful to have her home at last.