What do you remember fron N.I.C.U

[jesses_girl]

I only really have sad memories up until SCN but i loooove top to toe! I bought it today lol And i still think to use paper towel wipes. Damm i got good at those cords! I know what the monitors mean What good memory go you have from NICU?

[black_rose]

I remember dd being under the lights for her jaundice with the eye covers on resting on top of a nappy like a roast chook! She still loves being all snuggly and warm. She also loved playing with her nasal tube. I have a beautiful photo of it draped all around her and her blanket.

[maz]

the nurses letting me hold tank when ever I wanted.

I'll never forget the smell of the place though and the smell of the accomidation at the hospital itself

[Early Kids]

I remember everything.... the beeping, the lighting, the humidity....

Brendan's entire journey made Tristan's a whole lot easier. Knowing what it all meant and how things happened down there meant that when Tristan arrived I was left to my own devices. I was "allowed" to do everything with him, because I didn't need to be shown.

I also LOVE the smell of Aqium Although sometimes it does bring back some bad memories...

[Inertia]

Sadly my strongest memory is the absolute pain of not being able to hold my baby for the first week of his life. It felt like torture. There he is in a little plastic box and you can't have him! I remember every time I walked past the NICU unit with Haz when he was born I would just have to pick him up to prove to myself I could.

[shazzi]

I have so many negative strong memories, everything still feels too fresh one year on. But a good memory was seeing DH learning how to change her nappy in the first few days while in NICU, under lights and on CPAP. His hands looked soooo huge lifting up our little DD, and he was shaking and scared about hurting her. HE was so in love already and it was beautiful. The first kangaroo cuddle when DD was 2 days old was so overwhelming, then I had to wait again for a few days so heartwrenching as well.

[DaintreeDream]

IBrendan's entire journey made Tristan's a whole lot easier.

Same here. Matildas journey made Annabelles so much easier. I too knew what all of the machines meant and the beeps and the leads. I mastered putting the leads on and repositioning them when they played up. I hate that Aquim stuff, it leaves a horrible coating on your hands, they had that at RCH, the pink stuff at MMC was a little nicer. I too had the pain of not being able to hold my baby, not being able to feed my baby and the unbearable pain of their little bodies still from the drugs after surgery, the recovery that seemed to take forever, the pain I knew they were feeling and the tubes down their throats to help them breath, the pins coming out of Matildas chin when she was so small and having to turn them knowing that I was extending her little jaw, to see Annabelles heart beating with her chest open wide all the while so tiny and limp. I find it hard to treasure happy memories from NICU, I prefer to treasure happy memories at home where my girls are now safe and sound.

[Loula]

My baby is in now for severe respectiory Distress and is full term although on the mend. I know I will have many mixed memories. The lack of care and communication in the private sector where we were not encouraged to even place a hand in our Childs humidy crib in scn and the sheer tears of unbelievable gratitude for the kindness in NICU when asked if we would like to change his nappy and the later was the second experience?? Where his condition was worse. Very different worlds. I'm sure I will have many more memories to come over the next few days

[maz]

I remembered another one as I went and found Mateauz NICU memory box.....weighing our nappies...I can giggle about it now but I use to hang on seeing how much 'output' he had.

SCN Loula was the same here hon...I had to fight to hold let alone BF Mateauz yet when I got to Melbourne the first thing the nurse in the quarantine section at the Mercy did was ask me if I wanted to hold my baby....I cried and cried and she was there crying with me...I will never forget her face and how much love she gave me

honey

[Janie]

Lou, I'm so sorry you were treated so poorly in SCN . I will be forever grateful to all of the nurses who encouraged me to do Daniel's cares, when I was nervous in the early days. He was so small! And I was so worried I would spill precious EBM when feeding him etc. But it makes such an enormous difference to how you cope, being able to do things for your baby, it is sooo important.

[DaintreeDream]

Lou, my eldest Matilda was also a term baby who was admitted due to severe respiratory distress, I am sorry that you are walking this path and that the nurses treated you so poorly. Never be afraid to ask for anything you feel you need, I found that only once I started asking did I find that I was able to do (more than I realised) meaning; cares, holding baby, I found that most of the nurses had no idea what it felt like to have a baby in NICU and therefore didn't understand that something as simple as a touch meant so much. I hope your little boy is at home in your arms soon .

[butterfly_warrior]

Lou, I'm really sorry to hear that you've had such poor care.

We were only in SCN, not NICU, but I found that the prevailing attitude would vary depending on which nurse was on duty. There were some that frowned upon us spending time in there with our boy, some that seemed to think that he belonged more to the nursery and them than he did to us. But others who were wonderful, caring, considerate and were just absolutely amazing in every way.

BW

[black_rose]

The smell of the hand sanitiser always brings back strong memories especially this time having had all three in the nursery. The one thing I wish they had was an induction - here is where everything is and this is what you can and can't do. We kind of felt a bit lost first time around. We learnt from other parents and one or two midwives. The second stays were much easier as I already knew the routines. We always tried to help out parents who seem lost if we could.

[Loula]

I will write more from home when I am there as I know I will need to get this all down and advise from mums that gave been there iykwim?

But I am very open to ask questions and have worked in icu in londons biggest hospital be it as parent support and assistance to play spec.

But when I ask scn staff how my son is I expect more than plodding along as the reply with no eye contact while he thrashes around in his crib trying to breath. Knowing that no medical staff as a pead or dr have even looked at him or reviewed his blood work in 8 hrs then to finally get hold of the pead and be told everything g is good. To go back 1/2 hr later and a nurse says he now needs breathing support WTF? Then when speaking to the same pead be told that it's too late to discuss and this baby got dumped in him was just too much for me to bear. ESP as it was my mum that picked up the distress in the first place!!!

Sorry this is still too raw at the moment. My case was not that the staff were unaware that we were first time parents needing to be assisted. They forget we were even human!

I was also laughed at when I asked one do you think he is in pain?

[ellasmummy]

The smell of the hand sanitiser, the contstant alarms going off (from your baby and everyone else's), learning how everything worked, becoming a pro at nappy changes around ventilators, then o2 tubes, heart montiors, NG etc...the pain of not being able to hold your baby, just to sit there and will them to get better, sometimes getting to stick a hand in the little window and hold their hand. getting booted out for doctors rounds, waiting and wondering what they were saying about your bub. SO SO much, mostly bad, but some good memories (going home the best of course ) It still pains me to think about it and we are almost 3 years free of the NICU.....

[melbel]

Lou... i agree your care has been despicable and unconscionable......there are no excuses for the appaling way you have been treated.... i hope you are writing it all down and when things have settled i hope you will take things further...my heart breaks for you hun....I am sorry if my post appeared to minimise your experience, that was not my intent...I think I was just trying to make bit of sense of my own experience is all....

[aussienic]

My strongest memory is the smell and sounds.

My sweetest memory was when Isaac was so sedated we weren't eeven allowed to hold him and I was to scared to do anything but stare at him.. Dh happily got up took his temp, changed his nappy and all those other little things. He would also very confidently feed Isaac through his tube. I was way to scared to do any of that..

Isaac was a 37 week baby weighing in at nearly 10lb. Born perfectly healthy. 12 hours later he stopped breathing and started having seizures. We spent 16 days in the hospital and while that is short for some I swear it was the longest 16 days of my life. To this day they are still uncertain as to what was wrong, only explanation was a possible lack of oxygen just before birth..

ETA: Jacob and Olivia also spent time in the SCN, but we also felt better as it was so familiar. With Jacob though we were not expecting it so of course we cried a lot. With Olivia they told us before she was born she would be sick (she proved them wrong and only spent one full night in there,)

[butterfly_warrior]

Now that I have more time - the memories that stand out to me the most...

Being wheeled into SCN to see Sam for the first time after birth - and being encouraged to put my hand through the window of the humidicrib to touch his foot. But I was still too weak to stay long, even in a wheelchair so left pretty quickly.

The second time I was able to visit SCN, again in a wheelchair (I have no idea why birth knocked me about so much - I only had gas, no epidural, it was relatively short but I was still barely able to walk 24 hours later), to find Sam out of the humidicrib and swathed in blankets with a singlet on his head as a makeshift hat... and getting scowled at by the nurse for reaching to touch him. Asking if it was ok if I picked him up and being told no.

The next morning when we were finally included in caring for him and were taught how to change nappies and give bottles. And I loved the nurses that would let me hold the syringe when he had tube feeds!

The one time we were actually able to get Sam to attach to the breast and suck properly - for all of a minute.

The time I was woken in the dead of night by the phone call telling me it was time to come into the nursery for a feed and walking in to be told as though it was no more important than the weather outside that my baby had stopped breathing and had turned a funny colour. This happened another three more times until we finally figured out that it was because his NG tube was too short. But it was a very scary couple of days.

The heart-wrenching crying babies were given heal-***** tests or new NG tubes...

And finally being so flustered and excited when we finally got to take him home that I left important stuff behind - like his bottle (and the formula they gave us to get us through the rest of the day while we bustled about trying to get our last few things sorted) and his blue book and needing to make three trips back to the hospital after we left to finally have everything!

BW