You just describe my Dhs attitude to a T Fiona. He wont see a woman, wont see a church member unless its the padre at the military base and so on. I tell him to organise it then but then its oh I work I dont have time. I really think we need to talk to someone impartial. I know I could do better, I know I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and whinging all the time but its hard when he just does not get it; Im tired, Im strung out, Im TRYING to do whats best for ALL OF US, not just myself. Sure Uni is my dream and so in a sense its benefiting me but in the long run with two wages coming in it will benefit all of us. We made a deal when I accepted my Uni offer that everything - kids, house chores - would be 50/50 because Uni would equal his full time job. But it hasnt worked out that way at all, Im still left trying to do mountains of washing and dishes and picking up of toys and chasing kids on my days off. I have my first assignment due week after next and then another one the week after that and I havent even gotten past researching it. His answer when I say its because when Im at home the kids and chores take up my study time - lock them in their rooms! I mean really who thinks thats a viable solution!?

He is a good man, he is a good dad and he does do some things to help me out but he's totally got issues and should and could do 100x more to help us work as a team. We're partners, we're supposed to share the responsibility not heap it all on me and expect me to struggle through it with my sanity intact.

I do place alot of blame on my inlaws though; that is exactly the way their marriage works so he's grown up thinking he shouldnt have to do anything but work while I become slave to the masses. Im fighting a losing battle I think trying to change 28yrs of habit and genetics.