No more baby club

[widdly]

tali, DS is the same age as your DD, they are starting school the same year, it is so scarey that our babies are kids now, they are really losing their innocence now that they are starting kindy and school. My sisters have little babies and are likely to have more in the next few years too, it is so hard watching friends and family go through the excitement of pregnancy and babies, though it is good to be able to have baby snuggles and go baby shopping without having to go through all of the sleepless nights and stress.

maz, oh no, DH did the exact same thing to me 3 months ago. To start with I was so excited and we started ttc right away, but then i remembered how cr@p he is at childcare and reality set in. Must be hard or you though cause you guys are so into kids xxx

We should definately have a no baby club to celebrate the no baby things we get up to

[~Saram~]

Maz - whoa!!! I don't now how I would be feeling either! Well yes I would because Dh said something similar to me a year or so ago that I found really cruel. he said if I was better at keeping the house clean etc then he would consider another - now this was said after he had the snip so he really had no intentions of following through - it was during a rough patch and it stung! Hope you guys come to an understanding you are both happy with.

BTW - is it just me or does everyone else here seem to have a pregnancy magnet - everywhere I look there are preggo bellies and it's killing me. I was sitting in a waiting room today and here is this lady sitting across from me - about 28wks, rubbing her belly - you know when they push against you and it gets all tight and you rub your belly. My goodness, I could imagine it so well - I could feel it in my own belly!!! I think I am becoming delusional *sob sob*

[tiggerandpooh]

no I don't think your alone in that one! every where I look there are pregnant bellies, and new borns... plus a myriad of friends are having babies. maybe we are just more hypersensitive to it, and notice it more?

[New Dawn]

BTW - is it just me or does everyone else here seem to have a pregnancy magnet - everywhere I look there are preggo bellies and it's killing me. I was sitting in a waiting room today and here is this lady sitting across from me - about 28wks, rubbing her belly - you know when they push against you and it gets all tight and you rub your belly. My goodness, I could imagine it so well - I could feel it in my own belly!!! I think I am becoming delusional *sob sob*

you want to her delusional.... I will give you delusional...

sometimes when I am sitting ( slouching ) on the couch or reading a book in my room, I sometimes think I can feel movement, yes I know its just gas or something like that but if I am real still I can even watch my tummy move up and down, so sad to then remember that I wont ever really feel that happen for real in me again...

But enough of that.... here is a positive for having no babies in my house... I am on BB, they are old enough to put on a DVD themselves and leave me in peace while I am on the computer, I slepted into to 8 am today, while they still got up at their normal 6am they just didnt fight today ( Thank God ), if they need a drink they get a cup and get themselves some water, if DD2 wants a drink either DD1 or DS can get it for her... they go to bed at 7.30 and dont get up again until morning, no night feeds no wet beds, if they do have a bad dreram they dont cry out for me they get up and come to my room for a mummy cuddle... the best bit of having older children is they can say ' I Love you Mum' nothing is better than that...

[maz]

But enough of that.... here is a positive for having no babies in my house... I am on BB, they are old enough to put on a DVD themselves and leave me in peace while I am on the computer,

its all good until the remote hits someone in the eye though

Yes Sarah........Ive notice pg owman EVERYWERE and its doing my head in. I evne miss that owie feeling down in the woo hoo of the last few weeks

This Christmas is just going to be ace! M has discovered the the joys of the christmas tree...and the candy canes and gingerbread men hanging on it.. He went tot he extent of even eating the ribbon that hang's them up...as I just found it in his last nappy deposit

[maz]

SO how was everyone's christmas?

I was actually pretty dame depressed . Boxing day hit and I though about how I was in hospital with M and how that day until the day he was born was just horrible. It sort of destroyed my memories of my last pg and birth. Hell I dont even remember the first 3 months of his life due to the stress.

Id give anything to have that back ...friggen yucky!!!!!

SO next sunday we are invited to BIL's son's baptism. DO you think I really want to go? I know there will be atleast 2 new borns and a few pg woman unknowingly rubbing salt into my wounds.....hoping that i can use the 'have a bucket load of work' routine

enough dribble from moi...of to sulk

[Tinks]

I thought I'd have to drop out of the no more baby club for a minute there. I WAS STRESSED! But kind of fine with it at the same time. I'm pleased to say I am definitely NOT pregnant! But it would kinda sorta be nice to go through a pregnancy again.

[~Kim~]

Hey girls, can I join too?
I've been avoiding this thread - kinda in a state of denial I guess, but I really need to be here.
I thought I was good with it all, I really did. But I'm not.
I'm sick of people asking when we'll start trying again, telling them that the last preg nearly killed me and we can't have any more and them saying 'oh well at least you have one of each'!!!! uhuh like that's the perfect end to my story!
I still want four, I think I will always want four, but at the same time....pregnancy and I do not get on...ug it's just.....there were so many negatives, that I'd just like to have a perfect one I think. Stupidly naive as that sounds.
Feeling a bit soppy tonight I think.

[Fleur]

Hey girls, can I join too?
I've been avoiding this thread - kinda in a state of denial I guess, but I really need to be here.

Me too... can I join in?

PIL's were here for Christmas Day & FIL said to DH he will pay for a vasectomy

I told DD1 tonight & bless her she s*** me sometimes, but she 'got it' - she said 'well I think it would be really sad for you to know that there will never even be a chance of another, whether you want it or not' - OMG the teen drama queen got me in one

I know it' s not practical, we barely fit into our (rented) 3brm townhouse as it is
I know it means years more of our life raising kids, when the idea was to have our later years to ourselves
I know we can't 'afford' it, more time for me off work etc
I know DH worries about the physical toll on me
I know although our baby girl is a dream baby, so happy & cruisy there is no guarantees that another will be so easy ....
but I would still love another.
I don't know if I will ever feel finished having kids...when AR was a week old I said 'no more!!' and I meant it ... by the time she was 8 weeks old I was thinking ohhh I could have another one or two....
I feel so sad at the idea that it might be all made final, without even a chance of another...

Those late night acrobatics when you lay down to go to sleep, watching your little person rolling from one side of your tummy to the other. The excitement of feeling those flutters, and sitting on the loo praying that AF wont turn up with every wipe you take. Knowing other people (like me ) envious that you have created something magical and special within yourself.

Late night feed's in the darkness were its only the 2 of you breathign each other in.
Watching my other children oh and ah over the new addition to the family....watching for that first smile and their hands reach out for you. The excitement in their face when you enter the room. The first laugh...man...

all of that!
and I feel so selfish... I know there are people out there who would give anythign just for one baby... but I can't help how I feel

geez sorry for the monster post... I have a lump in my throat now.. there is no-one IRL who understands how I feel....

[Rach75]

I'm sick of hearing well you have to go back you need a girl to even everything out I have a little girl no one acknowledges her existance as my daughter (except my family)

[maz]

Rach people are so ignorant and rude.

Tinks -

Kim - I hear you...pg and me dont get along at all either yet we are still willing to punish ourselves for that outcome

Jas - I cant believe your FIL....WTF??? what is it with people thinking they can control your life...grrr.

Although I have one girl, I am continuously asked if we're going to give her a little sister. yep not that simple. We've taken to telling people that we'd like another or 2 to keep them off our back. Its bloody well painful and if a realy knife to the heart.

I remember when we got married all we heard was so when are you going to pop one out. I think that is the most horriblest thing to say to anyone. I can only imagine how hard it is for couples who have been trying for years without success, it must be dame friggne heart breaking to hear it time and time again

ah off to hang some washing

[tiggerandpooh]

My BIL and SIL and new newphew spent boxing day with us, and I spent most of it cuddling and smelling this little precious person. It was lovely - and heart wrenching at the same time.

DH (who is not living with us) was there as well - and he continually says I want to have another one. whats so painful about hearing him say that now is that when I fell pregnant with Aston for the first 20 weeks he was not a very nice individual about the whole thing. He even had the audacity to say on boxing day well if you won't have one with me I'll find someone else to. I could have thumped him there and then.

Such a myriad of emotions flow through me. Its not even just the baby thing - its the fact that I don't feel finished. that I have one more CHILD in me to have. That there is one more little soul circling around me, waiting to be born.... sigh.

When my SIL was feeding her little man, I got that let down feeling. god it hurts. So I'm sitting there with my hands pressed against my breasts to stop it... bloody hell just happened again thinking about it!!

its such a double edged sword isnt it? The strong intense desire to want another child... ....

[BekZ]

Maz thanks for this thread

Can I reluctantly join???

DH and I toy with the idea of another bub but for all the practical reasons I think it is time for us to stop with our lot as it is. We are truely blessed with 3 little girls and I have had 3 wonderful pregnancies and births. Thankfully my dream to breastfeed a bub has come true with number 3. What else should I want hey? hmmm

I still want to feel that bubba moving inside me, I still want to hold my new baby and smell it for the first time and I kinda want to live in chaos and be apart of a tribe lol.

At the same time I need to get my body back, and I am looking forward to studying or doing some thing non baby/toddler/child related. I only have 1 year left until my eldest starts school and I want to spend some time with her, before she is off getting a life of her own lol.

We just had a huge Christmas and we got all sorts of comments and wishes. Most people told me to look after myself and made comments like 'surely" your done, you must be so busy. On the other hand my husband had quite a few relos wish a son for him.

For me I really have to get over the wanting just one more. Hopefully in time this ache will pass or the universe will send us just one more because the next won't be planned.

Question: How do you get the courage to give away your baby things. I've got a load of newborn clothes here that I could give away because we need the space but I can't!!!

[widdly]

kim - hugs honey xxxx

Over xmas we saw family and friends that we havent seen in a long while. First there was DH Uncle (they have one grown up son) who asked if we were having any more babies, when he was told we would not be having any more babies, he went on to tell us that we are young and will probably change our minds down the track blah blah blah. I would have thought he would understand not harping on about it since he has an only child too.

DH Aunt also asked when next bub would be on its way, when told no more she said we HAVE to have a little girl...my reply, thats why I am buying a female puppy She has an only child as well and she didnt push the issue further.

There was one couple of friends who supported us though which was wonderful, they have 2 little boys and he has just had the snip. They totally understand the feeling of never wanting more kids, it was nice to not feel bullied about it.

Over xmas it was nice being baby and pregnancy free. I wasz able to relax and have a couple of drinks as DS is old enough to entertain himself, toilet himself, feed himself etc, was lovely

[Amity]

Hey can I join up?

I'm in a little different position to you all - I've been single for over 3 years, effectively raising my two sons on my own. They're now 6 and 4, getting more and more independent each day. I was also the first of my "girlfriends" to have kids, and now a lot of them are having babies.

However, I waver day to day as to whether I ever want more (even if I had the opportunity). Most days it's a definite no. I like my sleep. I LOVE my work. And sometimes I feel as if I'm too selfish.

But there is a little part of me that says "if the circumstances were right..." As in if I had a partner who supported me 100%, that I could financially afford to stay home for 2-3 years, that I could take this time-out from my career... etc etc...

Gee it's hard, isn't it! I also get people saying "you're so young" but really, it's not about youth, is it. It is about ability and willingness of BOTH parties... and so many other things also come into the equation.

Hugs and thanks Maz for starting this!

[widdly]

Divvy, great post, agree with everything you said

[BekZ]

Widdly - I really like the idea of not running after a baby at Christmas time whilst everyone else is sitting and relaxing. I think I exhausted some people at Christmas with the constant feeding one child or another,changing nappies or negotiating toy allocation etc.

[smiles4u]

Sazz ... i've been thinking the same thing ... Does anyone have any idea at approx what age does most if not all people will STOP ASKING ???

Like is it when your child is 5 or maybe even 10 ... i seriously have no idea (has anyone's friends mentioned at what age it HAPPENED for them)

(i would love to ask my sister who has an only child whom is now 14 but she would most likely wanna kill me, yes unlike me she gets grumpy very quick & it's not worth the agony & risk for my sanity )

Elissa, YES how ** nice ** was it, my 1st Xmas in ages feeling actually relaxed (yay no nappy changing or bubba duties) also it was more magical cause Miss C was so immersed in everything Xmas ... was such fun & joy to watch her

Kim, hugs to you lovely lady Why would people ask you when you only had Nate like this year, crazy people i say (as my folks would call it " What a way to end it with a Pigeon Pair, that's GOLD right there " ) xoxo ... Kim, maybe you could say to them what my hairdresser tells 'em " Um, Could you PLEASE tell me what's a GOOD NUMBER to have ... Like is it 3, 4 or more ?? " (and look at them as if you are searching for an answer), She said they shut up real quick as no one HAS an answer