oh Sherie...there are tears all over my face as I read this. Hun you have held on to so much grief over bf I hope writing it down has let some of it go. When Matilda was weaned off bf and thrived without as much pain from reflux, I felt like such a failure, like I didn't have it in me to produce the best for her. Its awful feeling that way & feeling like you couldn't give your child the "best". *hugs*