I've got a foot in both camps because I've been a SAHM for a year and am now back to work part-time.

So my perspective is this. I'm an older mum and I think part of being older is not relying on anyone else for my own self-worth. That would be harder if I was younger but I've already been successful career-wise and have heaps of life experience. So if I was to meet someone for the first time and being a SAHM was a conversation-stopper, I'd have lots of other things to talk about.

If we're talking to women/people who don't have kids, they often don't know what to say if we say we're SAHMs because they don't know where to go with the conversation if we say we've got a 6/9/12 month old. They don't know milestones, they don't know whether to ask if our baby is crawling/walking/talking. In essence, they don't know what to SAY.

So I think there needs to be a bit of give and take. If you show no interest in the job they're doing and don't say "oh, a legal secretary, what sort of law d'you work in?" then that to me is as dismissive of them as a lack of questions from them is as dismissive as you. Conversation is a two-way street.

I do think, however, that being a SAHM is much more complicated and emotionally draining than a job and that's pretty difficult to explain.

It is MUCH easier going to work. When I go to work, I make my To Do list and I gradually work through it.

When I'm home, I pretty much have the same To Do list every day and I can't always get through it because DD wants to play or wants to 'help'. I can't just start a task and finish it like I can at work and that is frustrating.

Having said that, being at home is much more rewarding than being at work. I get to play peek-a-boo, I get to watch DD learn new things every day and for every minute of frustration I get much more back in enjoyment.

And the first thing people have asked me since going back to work is, "oh, who's looking after your daughter?"

I am quite sure DP has NEVER been asked that question!

So it's all swings and roundabouts.