Too tough for me...

[Indadhanu]

Oh honey!

I have been there. OH BOY have I been there. And I had the rodders (including my mum!) telling me I'd be rocking her to sleep when she was 16

But I couldn't (still can't) bear to hear her cry in her cot, knowing she is crying out for me, wanting me to help her, cuddle her, and just be close.

Fighting your instincts just causes more distress for you AND bub in my experience. For a few days I tried the crying thing, and in the end I was so hysterical seriously just listening to her cry increased my stress levels 100-fold. And everyone said this would be EASIER?!?!?!?!? It wasn't for us. Jazz would cry and cry and cry and I would cry and cry and cry...

Cuddles and rocking just worked so much better, and you know, she's not going to be this little forever. One day she'll be too big to be rocked to sleep. To big to fit inside our arms. Enjoy it, they're only this little once, and know that you are following your HEART and your INSTINCTS. There came a time where all of a sudden she was ok to be asleep on the bed. She did have a little whinge when I put her down but I turn on the mobile music, let her know I'm not going far, and she is used to the bed...

BTW, even though nights are an issue for us, getting her to sleep during the day is generally not an issue at all. Most of the time I do feed to sleep, BUT she has learnt that bed = sleep, and I say to her "good night Jazz, I love you, have a good sleep and I'll see you when you wake up" and she has a little whinge/protest, a little coo at her bed teddy and then its snoozy time. So you WONT be rocking forever, or holding her forever, I can promise you that!

Its hard when you feel so tied to a baby, like you don't have any space of your own, but I promise most of us have had MANY MANY MANY days like that, with a velcro child who refuses to be anywhere else but attached to you!

You are doing a FANTASTIC job. Your daughter knows she is loved, cherished and above everything else SAFE. She loves you so much and feels so safe and secure in your arms that its the only place she wants to be. Its an honour! (Sometimes it doesn't feel like that but it is an honour ).

[BeautifulMadness]

Even at 2 yrs old i still have probs getting my son to sleep. its never ending u probably dont wanna even hearthat sorry, lack of sleep

[Arcadia]

Thanks so much everyone for your responses! I really appreciate the support!

The thing is, she sleeps really well at night. 6 hr stretches even. I feed her to sleep at night, but was trying to stop it in the day because some "professional" told me to...

The battle of instinct v professional is seriously screwed...I can't believe I fell for it.

Thank you again for your wise words and loving hugs...I feel so much more supported in my decision now!

[Indadhanu]

Trust yourself hun, trust your instincts. Do what YOU feel is right xxx

[sneakysparkle]

I tried to post this last night but was having dramas with the net - thought Id post it anyway

anna - you are doing a wonderful job and dont let anyone tell you otherwise!

You are the perfect mummy for your gorgeous girl

Its normal to not want to hear her cry

She is a teeny tiny baby and she needs you and there is plenty of time until you have to worry about her "sleep habits"

There is NOTHING wrong with you!!!!!!!

[Jaycee]

They grow up so fast, trust your instincts as you will never get this time back again.
You are doing a fantastic job!

[Moi]

anna - I read somewhere (not going to get the quote quite right) that whatever you do with your baby (well provided you aren't harming them in any way) isn't a problem unless it's a problem for you. Does that make sense? I mean that if you are happy to rock your baby to sleep then it's NOT a problem. If you aren't happy to rock your baby to sleep then it is a problem. I was rocking my DD to sleep and I was happy to do it, but it got to a stage where rocking her to sleep wasn't working any more and nothing I tried was working (sling, pram, rocking, etc). So she was getting extremely over tired and I was having no time out because I have no one around to help during the day. It got to the point that I wasn't happy to rock her to sleep any more so I got help to learn new settling techniques (not CC - there's no way I could leave her to cry). I still love rocking and cuddling her and we do plenty of that. I wish I could still rock her to sleep because I did enjoy it. But when I was rocking for two hours and she wasn't sleeping at all it just got too much for me. It's early days in using the new settling techniques so maybe they too will fail at some point, but for now I'm finding she gets much more sleep and I'm having some time out, which we both need. HTH

[Toomanytoomany]

The thing is, she sleeps really well at night. 6 hr stretches even. I feed her to sleep at night, but was trying to stop it in the day because some "professional" told me to...

Sounds to me like you've hit a pretty magic formula then! You are clearly doing something very, very right!! Good on you for listening to your instincts.

When I was having trouble settling Clare, I too couldn't bring myself to just put her in the cot and let her cry, but I also had a shoulder injury that meant that holding her as much as she wanted to be held was not an option either. I would swaddle her and put her in her cot next to my bed and pat and stroke her until she went to sleep, instead. She was never crying unaccompanied, and didn't cry much, to be honest, but it saved my aching arms and back a bit

I'm not saying you need to do that - but I'm backing the previous poster who says the most important thing to do is what works for you and your baby, and other people's opinions just don't come into it. They aren't the ones taking responsibility for this child, you are, and you're doing a great job of it.