I think the thing I try to avoid as well as some of the things I didn't agree with regards to how I was raised is to not go the whole other way and cause even more problems/damage. I've seen this happen more, with my generation, than that of repeating the same iykwim. Its something me and my MIL have discussed at great lengths, that so many people have deep seeded issues with the way they were parented that it in turn causes them to parent in a way that can be just as ineffective due to their own issues. So I try not to pass on my own anxieties or insecurities based on my own baggage. I am lucky enough to also see past all the negative of my own experiences, to be able to see that some parts of the parenting were effective and helpful. I just don't want to wind up a big bottle of guilt or nerves as a result of trying too hard not to follow in the same footsteps. Having said that there is a big list of no no's that I would never do to my kids, which involves violent forms of discipline, emotional abuse and fear based parenting. This is a topic I could talk forever on