I guess I have been going through this as well. When DD1 was a baby I found myself mirroring things my Mother did to me. Like blaming my children for my mood, making a choice to live one way (say SAHM or PTSAHM) and then my children having to deal with my choice. Making unwise money decisions just because my children want something. Using my children's actions as reasons for my moods.

Thats my biggest. My whole life my mum would have melt-downs (all which I understand so much better now...) and then we as children would feel like it was all our fault our mother didn't like life. It was our fault our mother was crying, and it was our fault we weren't better people for our mum.

Rather than; me having a melt down moment, and then recovering & explaining what happened and why things piled up making her upset & explaining that we were good people no matter what....Its a work in progress.