Thanks so much for all of your responses. I really value your sharing what works for you. I'm just feeling quite out of my depth right now. Many of the techniques such as holding them close, taking them away for a little quiet time, helping them to get control of their emotions etc are what I've always used, but are failing me big time at the moment. Now if I try these things he starts hitting and slapping me which just creates a whole other thing to address (which I am not doing well).

And the violence towards other kids is also getting out of control. Until this morning, I'd only ever seen him give a little push. But today we were at a cafe where they have a cubby and toys for the LO's and DS and another little boy were in the cubby. The other boy was in his way so DS shoved him and then slapped him across the face I couldn't believe it, it was so rough. I yelled stop straight away and went over and got him and told him that because he couldn't play nicely he would have to sit with mummy. Then explained the whole why we don't hit etc and said that I thought he should say sorry (I don't tell him to say sorry, because I don't think I should be forcing him to IYKWIM). He sat on my knee for about 30 seconds before trying to get off and I asked him if he wanted to say sorry and he said he did, so we went over but then he got a bit shy. Thankfully the other mum was very understanding. But I really feel like I didn't handle it particularly well. Or more so that he didn't learn anything from it.

I don't want to be a parent who yells and screams. I want to teach rather than dictate. But right now it feels like my teaching methods are failing miserably. His language is very good for his age and I know he understands what I'm saying (in terms of what hurt, happy, sad etc mean) - I'm just not sure he comprehends the meaning of it if that makes sense.

It's awful when his bad behavior is directed at other children, like today. While I believe in the approach we're taking to discipline him, it feels like everyone else is looking at me thinking I handled it terribly and that I should be yelling etc... I can't help but wonder if what we're doing just isn't working, if it is the age, or there are other factors at play. I don't know what i'm meant to do when I'm trying to calm him down or take him away from a situation and he starts hitting me. I can't let him continue, in some instances (like today) I can't just put him down and distance myself from him because he is hitting me... The carers at CC keep telling me his change in behavior is because I'm pregnant and they all do it at this stage, but I find that hard to believe. It just seems that we're going through a really difficult patch. I'm not sure if I should keep doing what we're doing or I need to employ some new techniques...

OK, this has definately turned into more of a vent. thanks for reading.

Everybody keeps mentioning the 123 Magic approach - it would be great if you could give me an overview of how it works.