I guess the point is to find a strategy that works for you and your family. Every strategy is using love, just finding something that suits your own style and fits in with your lifestyle - and I agree with Laranna, they all take time and effort if you are going to use any strategy effectively.

Personally I think we reason too much with little kids - and sometimes they don't need to know 'why', they just need to follow the instruction, and they can't always understand the impact their behaviour has on others - even if you tell them. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you shouldn't explain at all (of course they will never learn unless you do), but sometimes life is about just doing what you are told without always understanding why - after all as adults we have to do this at times as well!

but it doesn't really matter which one you use - the best strategies will be those that are 'evidence based' and have research to back up their effectiveness - but even they won't suit every family.

so the question - use the naughty spot or time out - they are kind of the same thing really... so it doesn't really matter which one you use - personally, I prefer the idea of time out, cause it is reinforcing the idea of calming yourself down to deal with a situation in a healthy way and by making good choices - rather than the 'naughty spot' which is insinutating that you are "naughty" - no child is naughty (IMO) but they make bad choices, like everyone, and as such their behaviour is naughty....

I agree that it's probably best to withhold judgement until you've read something properly - a brief overview on here really doesn't do it justice - what 1-2-3 Magic is really getting kids to do is make a choice - and in most cases it's giving them 2 chances to make it. The choice is - follow my instruction, or go and have some space until you are ready to do what I ask. it is really only recommended to start at the age of 2 or 3 (where it is developmentally appropriate) and up until about 10 (it think). Anyway - sounds like you have a good plan anyway Mayaness - just hopefully you won't rule it out totally for some people - as it might suit other parents better than the strategies you use for your kids.

it is interesting that these kinds of questions always seem to create such heated debate from people - bit like religion and politics!