You are parenting her they way she needs to be.

With dd1 we do the same, offer choices and compromises. Eg you can have fruit if you eat all your veggies or she can go to outside if she tidies up. It's the easiest way to get her to agree to things if she can see rewards/ reason. She doesn't adapt to change very well at all, she was a premmie and in a brace so she had strict feeding and play routines. It's been challenging to break her out of them.

With dd2 she is very different she goes with the flow but always knows what she wants whether it's food or clothes we can't compromise with her, not sure how we will deal with her stubborn streak yet.

If it's how your dd comprehends what you want her to do it's not a bad thing at all. I see it as positive reinforcement and rewards, rather than yelling etc.