What do you think are acceptable reasons for not having another baby?

[Nai]

Well for a start, not wanting pain from SPD is NOT a selfish reason. How hard is it on your kids to have you in pain and not able to do stuff? That sort of thing affects everyone including you so you can't write that one off as selfish. Wanting to get fit and healthy? Again, not selfish. I could go on but.....

At the end of the day it is up to you and what you feel that you and your family can deal with - it needs to be a balanced approach and look at all aspects financial, emotional, psychological, physical, logistical etc. Only you and you DH can work out what is best for you and the kids. All reasons are perfectly valid if they impact your family.

[Rouge]

If you're selfish than so am I.

I don't want another baby because:

It takes a lot of pain (emotionally) and possibly MC's to get pregnant. (but if I really wanted another I know this wouldn't be a problem)
I have raised two babies and I like the idea that they are getting more and more dependent each day, which means I am becoming more and more my own person again.
I want to work so we have more money, so my kids can enjoy life more too and I don't want to rely on daycare if I don't have to.
I am excited about the idea of having no kids at home next year
I wanted to have children young so I would be a young mum, and I am still and like the idea that I'll be 43 when my last baby finishes high school. It also means DH and I will be able to still enjoy travelling etc when our kids leave home iykwim?


Now I am lucky enough to have this list, and had I not had any babies I know this list wouldn't mean diddly squat because the wanting of those babies would be more than these issues. But because I was blessed (even with the heartache of loss and LTTTC) means that these issues apply to me now and they are valid reasons for ME. You need to do what is right for you, not compare yourself to others because it is your life iykwim?

[Cherished]

Arimeh you're a hoot, thanks for a giggle in your post hehehe I think all of the things you listed are reasonable dh and I orignially wanted 4 bubs and we've named them all etc. But now we are a little more realistic. We are having this one and are totally ttc #2 asap! But after that we will have a look at how we are going. First thing on my list will be our health (the whole family) both physical and emotional and if for ANY reason there is a problem including weight (as you mentioned) than we wont have another bub until any health issues are resolved. Next on our list would be time and finances, if we don't have time to offer the family unit or the finances to support us all then we would also stop at 2 kids. Our house is big enough to fit the 4 kids we wanted but if it wasn't and we couldn't afford a larger place and it was an issue then that would also stop us having a 3rd let alone the 4th.

[onthefly]

Are you trying to convince yourself or someone else?
You can come up with as many reasons as you like, but at the end of the day I don't know that it's always a 'rational' decision, it's just about what feels right or works best, you know?

[Rowellen]

Just noticed your name change! Nice I like it

[Antheia]

Sometimes we need to be selfish. Being mothers, its not a common thing for us. All your reasons are valid. Theyre the same as mine. I really really want 5 kids. But i doubt i can do another pregnancy. My SPD is at it's worst, i hate feeling fat and not being able to do anything. Having a newborn you can't do much either, especially with having other kids. Honestly, that's that only reason i can give for not having 5. We could happily provide for them financially but i just don't think i could do it physically. And it's totally selfish. DH is happy with 4 but not 100% against 5. It's more if i will regret not having had 5. But 4 is a good bunch and i think after a while i'll be happy. I'm going to have years of laughs and love from them and hopfully lots of grankiddies! So then i can spoil them as much as i would my own children.

[Jaycee]

I think any reason is acceptable to not have another bub, as long as it is YOUR reason

[Arimeh]

I think any reason is acceptable to not have another bub, as long as it is YOUR reason

Yeah but at the moment I'm flip flopping all over the damn place between have one, don't have one - its constantly on my freakin mind and driving me nutty!!!!! I am like this stupid fish thats been yanked out of the water and just flopping all over the deck - this way, no this way, no the other way - ARGHHHHHH.

Marcellus - hmm. cloning. That IS an idea...

Jahzara - thanks I know you understand what I'm going through xxxxxx (btw, girls night with Sterla soon ok?)

MD - thats what DH said too... and that basically its up to me cos I gotta go through it!

[Muffy]

I think that if you question your reasons for not having another one, then you are not ready to stop.
Thats the way i've always thought about it.
When you know, you know... there will be no questions.

[Indadhanu]

Our decision at the moment to not have any more kids is because we want to be able to do things like travel with Jazz, and not put it off because we will have a newborn or younger child. Plus we both want to go to work when she is about 4 or 5, so we can buy a house. If we have another kid, thats morw time at home and we get even further from our home goal. So I get the selfish award! LOL!

Whatever reason you want to use is good enough. No one can tell you what is acceptable or not acceptable when it comes to decisions like this.

[luna moth]

Less selfish reasons to not have more:

- There are already 6 billion people on this earth and not enough resources for all of them to live a full life.
- Audax needs to purchase all of your no-longer-used baby goods at a very reasonable price.

I think there's something in your vision of toddler-mama with 4 kids - maybe that's part of your family story, and maybe that's something that will happen, in some sort of a wacky way.