OMG tanya....
I agree with miss wingbat, although i am quite hot headed so my reaction would be quite brutal.. you dont deserve to have that in your life or your childrens, i agree print it up and ask him about it. I looked at the profile and was shocked myself. I think its something you definetly need to discuss. Im sorry this has happend to you and its not your fault someone cant behave the way they should in a loving caring relationship.
keep your chin up babe
xx
Miss WingBat I thank you very much for you onesty and words off support!! I need it now ... Yes we are living together and yes have a child, this has happened before in our relationship and i got very upset and he knows this! But yet he did it again! A few weeks back we got into a disagrement and i was ready to leave i took the kids and we went to Lollipops with my family, but that night i came back to him and our house! When i found this today i asked him (he is currently away so i cant confront him face to face) and he told me he set that up ages ago, i then said no it says it only got set up a month ago, he said he did it when we had that fight to "hurt" me, who would do that to some1 they love? And his been on there in the last 9 days also i found a picture of him on our computer that he had taken, holding a piece off paper i have now just found out that to prove the photos u post off urself on these profiles are really you, you have to take a photo off yourself displaying ur registration number, this photo was only taken on the 2cnd of August! Which proves this profile wasnt set up just to hurt me and he is still accessing it!! Sorry for the rant i just need to talk so some1 about it
Thanks Em big hugs to you also! I think the stuff he has posted on that profile is quiet disgusting and the photos off himself, it isnt something a "father" should be doing!!
I dont know you very well Tanya but I looked at the profile and all I can say is - my hubby would be DEAD. That kind of behaviour would be on my "not on" list so I would have his bags packed and the locks changed.
For one, you are the MOTHER of his kids. Disrespecting the mother of your kids like that is unacceptable and THE worst thing a man could ever do. Secondly, I am assuming you are together full time not taking a break, but either way even if he was doing that while you were taking a break then he absolutely cannot be serious about making your relationship work.
He mustnt respect you as a person, woman or a mother if he thinks you'd let him get away with that kind of behaviour.
I hope I havent stepped on toes, its just Im a strong minded woman and dont feel that ANY woman is that low in her life that she should tolerate being treated like that. We are fabulous human beings and fabulous mothers and we deserve the BEST life has to offer.
here, here to anna... id have to agree that my hubby wouldnt be coming home tonight, and just out of curiosity i asked my hubby what he would think if i were to do that and his reply was well you dont want to be with me... and that our relationship would be over. its not something you do in a relationship.. even if you want to hurt someone.. that in itself is a little concerning..
if he has done it before thats really a cause of concern babe that he doesnt consider your feelings and sacrifices youve made for your family.
i think you really need to clear your head and work out what you want.
ANNA>>>>> where in bushy beach are you babe? id love a catch up with a "local" haha
You go away for a couple of hours and come back to this!!!! Wow
I dont know anything about you or your relationship Tanya but I do know that you deserve respect and to be loved as a person and as a mother. I hope you dont mind a little advice from a someone you havnt meet!!!
It is very hard to find the strength to leave an unhealthy relationship and to not fall back into it again and again...its one of those life experiences that you unfortunately need to go through to learn from.....and even when you do go through it...that doesnt mean it wont happen again, it just means you are a little wiser next time.
Im sure you will make the right decisions for you and your kids and that you know in your heart what is the best thing to do.......
Tanya,
I totally agree with Nicola. You need respect and love as a person and a mother. And you summed it up correctly when you said, that A FATHER should not be doing this sort of thing.
Honestly, what each and everyone does behind bedroom doors should not be made public, whatever your preferences. This is humilating for you, and eventually your children one day.
If he has to resort to such childish, improper behaviour to 'teach' you a lesson, then a close and careful look at this "MAN" (and I use this term lightly) is in order. I hate, hate, hate to cause anyone dramas in their lives, but as most of us girlies have been saying, there needs to be a solution found pretty quick.
As Emma said, clear your head, and come up with some safe and sound solutions to help your family. That doesn't neccessarily mean leaving him, but definitely setting up some ground rules to never, ever allow this sort of 'techno-infidelity' to happen again...
Thanks Ladies for your replies and thoughts its made me feel so much better to no i have so much support from use ladies who ive never even meet! I still havent had a chance to properly talk to him, but then i think i shouldnt even bother because his only going to lie to me anyway, and id probably just turn into a blubbering mess as i am feeling un-well today and had next to no sleep last night!
On a better note, i sat down last night and worked out all my driving hrs and i only need 9 more which i will clock up b4 Monday so i can send my book off and then two weeks after doing that i can do my driving test, and hopefully pass! then i can finally meet you ladies
Tanya,
I am really happy that you are focussing on the positive aspects of your life. It is sometimes hard to 'not' dwell on issues and fall into a black pit, which not only affects you and your house-life, but your children too. This step also enables you to get out the house too!! Sometimes focusing on yourself, and your children, and making positive changes to your life can help show the way to the future. You will know in your heart the right time to talk to him, seriously, without conflict.
I know if I am in a stink with my DH, I clean and clear out furiously, madly scrubbing the house, not sure if this gets the point across but at least it keeps my mind busy, and not sit and listen to sad songs all day... (even though it is tempting!)
I am looking forward to meeting you, as well as another meet-up with the other girls. Today we are busy at home (well, I am - I cleaned house, car, and even dogs!) but hopefully next week I will have a morning to chill out with you ladies...
Hi Tanya
I have just read his profile and don't really know what to say. It's hard to comment unless it's happened to you.
It must be very hard to now be able to talk to him about this in person. I can only guess that you must be feeling very betrayed and upset. I think it would hurt that he mentioned he was not only single but had no children.
When does he come home? It is hard to have conversations like that over the phone.
I have had a similar experience with friends of mine. Do you have an email address, I can tell you about it and offer some more advice if you like.
Good on you for focussing on yourself and the kids. Trying to take your mind off it hopefully will help.
Hey Ladies thanks again, all i can do is focuss on the happier things, he sent me a long message saying he knows his miss treated me and doesnt deserve me he understands if i leave blah blah but is he just doing that to try and sweet talk me or does he really mean it?
tsv_girl~ My email addy is foxxy_112002@hotmail.com. Thanks hope to hear from you!
He doesnt get back for 5 weeks he only just left so i am just going to keep myself busy and happy and do what i want and enjoy myself, then when he gets home i can tear shreads off him!! No we need to sit down and talk and i think he needs counciling!!
About to head into town to have an xray done on my back as I had acute pain in my lower back and had to see the Chiro yesterday. On anti-inflamitory tabs now which is helping with the pain HEAPS.
Tanya - Sorry to hear about whats happening with you. I will comment further later on. Massive to you hunni.
Welcome Anna! Glad to hear you finally made it to Townsville. Congrats on your pregnancy. Wishing you a happy and healthy journey. Who's going to be your Doula???
Courtney - Glad to hear that Adam is being an angel for you hun. Nothing better than a content baby!
Hi girls... Wow... I just popped by to see if anyone wants to catch up on either Monday or Thursday's...
I was just going back over the threads and Tanya, I don't know you but I am sorry that you have such a problem in front of you. My advise is to go see a counsellor and talk it through. He doesn't have to go with you but the way I see it is at this point you have a big decision to make, to stay or go and there are many things that you need to weigh up to make that decision. But one thing, the decision is yours not his as to whether your relationship continues. Your right, there is a lot of support here for you
Anyhoo, Sorry I didn't make it to the Friday day, would have LOVED to but its my little people free day so I cleaned the house from top to bottom!! But would love to catch up soon
Good Afternoon Ladies, am about to head off to the doctors to get Indy checked out! She threw up again this morning
Thanks Sarah and wannabeskinnybinny~ I really appreciate the hugs and words off support
Wannabeskinnybinny~ Where were you thinking off having a meet? Let me no and if i can get there i will be..
Sara, I dont really think I need a doula, Im lucky enough to have amazingly easy and quick births and my hubby is quite vocal on my behalf! Was quite upset to find there is no private midwives up here that do homebirths I so had my heart set on one so its hospital now.
WBSM, I can do a meetup on either day but I'll need notice so I can steal the car from DH. Will be so glad to have a new car to drive, getting the kids up at 6:30am is killing all of us and ensures I have hours of tantrums and attitude for the rest of the day from my 2yo. Fridays are my kid free days too but no cleaning for me today other than a quick sweep, Im feeling to lazy lol
OMG, I go away for a day or so and everything happens. Yikes!!
Tanya, hun, I can't even comprehend how you are feeling right now. You seem to be holding together amazingly well. All I can suggest is counselling, both together and separately. There has to be something going on with your other half and he needs to get it sorted to be a proper partner and father (if that is what you want!). Otherwise counselling will be able to give you some tools to help organise yourself mentally and emotionally. Best wishes. This must be a nightmare for you. Also, how is Indy now? Has the Dr given you anything for her?
AnnaT, welcome to Townsville (and us!!).
Sara, how's the back now?
Sorry, this is a short post as have to do some cleaning and washing. I forgot how many clothes a newborn goes through. Who knew they can pee that much?
LOL Court, they are wee machines arent they! Although mine still are at 23mths and 7.5mths. I have to double nappy them when they go to bed otherwise I wash PJs and sheets EVERY day.
I need it now
... Yes we are living together and yes have a child, this has happened before in our relationship and i got very upset and he knows this! But yet he did it again! A few weeks back we got into a disagrement and i was ready to leave i took the kids and we went to Lollipops with my family, but that night i came back to him and our house! When i found this today i asked him (he is currently away so i cant confront him face to face) and he told me he set that up ages ago, i then said no it says it only got set up a month ago, he said he did it when we had that fight to "hurt" me, who would do that to some1 they love? And his been on there in the last 9 days also i found a picture of him on our computer that he had taken, holding a piece off paper i have now just found out that to prove the photos u post off urself on these profiles are really you, you have to take a photo off yourself displaying ur registration number, this photo was only taken on the 2cnd of August! Which proves this profile wasnt set up just to hurt me and he is still accessing it!! Sorry for the rant i just need to talk so some1 about it
which i will clock up b4 Monday so i can send my book off and then two weeks after doing that i can do my driving test, and hopefully 
pass! then i can finally meet you ladies 
Bookmarks