Sh!it, Uncle Amy, what a horrible experience to have had It's such an emotional time, so I can see how in a pregnant state you could take the steps you did. And if the father was going to be such a pr!ck, then it's the best thing you could have done at the time.
This time, you know you want it (having done the termination in the past and not wanting to replicate it, am I right?), so if the father says he blames you for ruining his life, you can tell him to jam it and that you're only telling him to cover your bases with him and the child, not for your own sake. If he wants a part, you tell him that you don't want to be with him but you definitely want him to find some sort of agreeable niche in your lives. I reckon it could work
No-one is solely to 'blame' for the creation of a child - I still can't believe that some men try this!
Anyway, just to let you know, I never thought I'd be a mummy till I met my partner. For someone who thought she'd never do this, I am finding that it's the absolute bestest thing I ever did and I reckon I'm a great mummy and I've got a great kid. I reckon, given that it's something you've wanted to do, you'll not only be a great mummy (as well as aunty to your nieces and nephews), but you'll have a great kid who embraces life and what people have to offer.
Which BC are you going to? You can look up the threads on BC's here. I would also recommend finding your local ABA group - you'll get loads of support, no judgement and I don't doubt that you'd make friends who will be invaluable to you, especially in the early days after the baby is born. You could also meet up with BB members in your area (there are local area threads here, too), and build up a network.
Anyway, I'm so glad you found Belly Belly