Thanks, Lesley and Kelly for your words. I was just really upset yesterday. And your reply was just .. not what I needed nor expected from such a wonderful group as we have here at BB ... I understand you didn't read the whole post. I think of Jon every day, because he is the reason I'm pregnant now.
Monkey and I had thought of ttc in 2005. But our mind was changed.
When Jon got increasingly worse, he would call us at night from the hospital (cause he knew we're awake trading US stocks at night) when he couldn't sleep and would open up (which was rare for him) and say how much he regretted having postponed having children and that he wished his daugher (1 yr) would know and remember him and that if he had started 5 yrs earlier, she would have.
When we got the call that he had died, Monkey and I hugged and cried and the first thing we said to each other was "Let's have children now". That was February and as you know we fell pregnant in March.
This child will forever be connected with Jon for me, so I might take things quite personal when it comes to the subject.

I can imagine your memories of England aren't the fondest, Lesley, considering they took your child from you and I'm happy for you that at least when it comes to the health care you had a good experience - at least they seem to have good paediatricians (also, no idea how to spell that one). Unfortunately your good experience in that area speaks against the statistics. Aside from the long waiting lists to see a specialist (or have your scan looked at by one), England has the worst cancer survival rate in the westernized world (50% of that of continental Europe or US!!) and the longest waiting lists for radiation therapy. If Jon had been back home in Australia at that time, he would most likely still be alive.

I hope you'll be reunited with your son one day.

Big hug back to you.

Snowy