Scared...

[Blixie]

Hi,

I'm so scared... on november 14th last year i was booked in for my 12 week u/s.
I was so excited busting to go to the bathroom, but excited, my partner Geoff, my mum and my baby sister were with me... i was finally called in.

I got on the bed and the woman doing the u/s harly even acknowledged me (except barking orders "get on the bed" "lower your waist band" etc) she started the scan and i couldn't see the heartbeat... i knew straight away that my baby was gone... she stopped the scan and turned to me and said "its dead" that was it... i walked straight out. You would think they would TRY to be alittle more sensitive.

My mum stayed back to collect my scan, my baby had died at 7 weeks and i didnt even know... i just shut down, i felt it was all my fault... they told mum to take me across the road to the hospital for a D&C.

The point of me telling everyone this is i'm soooo scared its going to happen again... i'm stressing myself out and i cant help it, my partner doesnt seem to understand, all i want is a little support

Thanks for reading this

[Junglemum]

Jessey what a horrible experience. Nasty sonogropher, what a cow.

I know there is not alot i can say to stop you stressing, i had 2 m/c's bf this prenancy and it was all i could think about in the first 12 weeks. Even after 12 weeks, i still worried about loosing the bub. Infact i still worry a little bit now. I imagine that once my bub arrives i will worry all the time. I guess being a mum is the start of a lifetime of worrying!

It is such a hard time, and i know it is easier said than done, but positive thinking is great for you and the little bub. Everynight i lay in bed and imagined my baby growing inside me, i also imagined the day it was born and holding it in my arms. I still cant believe i have made it this far.

Try and think positively. Big cyber hug to ya! xxxxx

[aussienic]

:hugs: What a horrible experience that could have been made a little easier by a nicer sono ..

I have had 2 m/c but I have also gone on to have 2 more beautiful children after them.. I can understand your fears.. I had and still do have them..

All I can say is good luck and I hope baby is a nice sticky one

[meg79]

Hi Jessey,

The exact same thing happened to me except it was with my ivf doctor not a horrible cow. They call it a missed abortion. We were devastated, had no idea that the baby could die and we would not know ( no cramping, spotting etc and i still felt pregnant). Doc told us it was quite uncommon and not to worry about it this time. Its so hard though cos it is always on your mind. This is my second pregnancy and at 13 weeks we have now had 3 scans all normal and a perfectly healthy bub. Getting past that 12 week mark with a good scan has helped me to relax and enjoy what is happening. I know there is no point in telling you to not to worry cos you cant, but I understand what your going through (it is normal to be petrified, you will feel more at ease soon) and wish you all the best. Take care.

:woman:Meg 28Stew 28
26/9/2006 12 weeks

[Jayney]

Maybe you could ask to have a scan early so you can see a heartbeat. Some Dr's are sensitive.

I know I just found out I'm pregnant having just had 3 miscarriages this year. I am very worried about this one as well. And I will see if Dr will give me a scan early just to calm my nerves.

[chickbabe61]

Hun i am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I am scared to go and get my 12 week scan but i would prefer to know. I had a scan at 8 weeks and that showed a little heart beat so i hope all is still going well.
If i am not feeling ill or something one day i automatically assume that i have m/c but then morning sickness come back the next day 2 times as bad. I honestly would prefer to feel like dog poop that way i know that bub is still there.
Good luck and i really hope all goes well for you.

[littlelara]

I'm sorry too, that's horrible.
Someone needs to have a word with that woman, is there anyone you could complain to? As if getting that kind of news isn't bad enough!
I know how you're feeling, I was lucky that the second time round my ob took pity on me and let me get a mini scan pretty much whenever I went in. He called me paranoind, but I was prepared to wear that if it meant seeing my little one
Would it help to get one of those dopplers? I think you can get them in chemists or on ebay, and it would mean you could hear the baby's heartbeat whenever you were feeling anxious.
I'm sure everything will be fine this time round

[Blixie]

Thanks for your kind and supporting posts, i didnt know what to do people like her shouldnt have that job
Still freaking out... i didnt know you could get a doppler for home... do you hire them?
My doctor wont even send me for a scan
I'm really unexperienced and dont know where to start with all this, to be honest its all a bit overwhelming, everyone on here has an ob already and seem so organized and i'm just..... BLAH

[littlelara]

Hi Jessey,
From what I understand you can rent dopplers from the chemist, although they aren't 100% reliable.
My advice would be maybe to contact your local women's hospital, explain that you're pg and that you miscarried early in your last pregnancy, they may set you up with some appointments and a dating scan (so you'll get to see your bub).
They may be able to organise shared care or have some system set up so that you have an ob &/or midwife in your area or at the hospital itself....
I don't know exactly what they'll do but I'm sure they can point you in the right direction; it can all be pretty daunting to start with, so good luck.

[mrsmac]

Jessey my obs with my 2nd and 3rd children have sent me for 8 week scans to allay my fears after m/c and have been lovely about recognising my concerns. Can you go to a different doctor who is more supportive?

[Harri]

That's disgusting!!! you're right, she shouldn't be doing that sort of job!

I agree, i think you need to see another Dr who is more supportive of you! after all that's what they're for! You can ring the local hospital and tell them you need to speak to the midwives in the maternity ward and they will be able to help you!!... are you going private or public..? if you are going private than you need to choose an OB that services the hospital you would like to go to and get a referral from your DR to go see them... If you are going public, just call the hossy like i mentioned above!

hope this helps

Good luck luv

[Blixie]

I have trouble with doctors... i've only ever had ONE i was comfortable with but he's moved to SA I am having a hard time finding a good doc in my area, they seem to think that cos i'm only 18 (19 next month) i dont really matter when it comes to my pregnancy cos i'm only young (well thats how it feels)

I will be going public so will call the hospital thanks for your help everyone

[bekyj2]

hey jessey,

sorry to hear about ur loss.. i lost twins in march 2006 at 8 weeks and 4 days but ex partner didnt no how to take it and did understand that i needed some support but thats was because some guys just like to keep things to themself.....

wat that woman did to u was mean and totally no responsiable for a doctor to say.. she should have more respect than that... i no wat u mean but u can only trust one doctor i am sort of the same i have on doctor and thats it...

2 baby angels march 2006

[_JeSs_]

i would DEFFINENTLY complain about her if i were you!... sorry to hear about ur loss
have you had an ultrasound yet?

[Blixie]

I'm going for my 1st ultrasound on the 26th (next Friday) really excited but freaking out as well.... if all is well i can start telling people

Have to go to the same place as last time, hopefully its not the same sonographer. Wouldnt handle that too well, if it is do you think that they would find it rude of me to ask for someone else (if there's anyone else available)?

[all girls]

I would definately ask for someone else... I would complain also so she doesn't do it to someone else it is really cruel.

You poor thing!! Good luck and i hope you get a really nice sono that gives you fantastic news

[Sammiejane]

Hi Jessey
Good luck with your scan... i would be asking to see someone else, infact i would call the hospital and politely inquire as to who is rostered on that day - do you remember her name? Anyway i would explain your situation and that you would feel very uncomfortatble if you were to be scanned by here again.
Althou i have never had a m/c i was terrified before my 12 week scan that there would be something wrong - i use to lie in bed at night and put my hands on my belly down really low where it would be sitting and think positive thoughts and send them to my baby - sounds a bit silly now as everything is fine, but i was so worried!
Oh yeah and your age shouldnt matter - infact if you are younger i would have thought that they would have been a bit more sensitive!
Good luck and i hope that you have a wonderful experience this time

[littlelara]

Hi Jessey,
I really think you still need to complain, if only to protect the next poor girl who finds herself in the same situation you did.
Good luck on your scan, let us know how you go