Ryn - I'm pregnant with my 3rd child, and I suffered PND with my last two children.

The only thing i will say is even if you had the best most kind family in the world, if you still wanted your first week alone it's your right to. I look back to how I was pushed around a bit when I had my first two...I can see how I got to the path of PND (although there were many other factors in my home life that did moreso).

Whatever you want to do in regards to YOUR baby, YOUR first pregnancy you should be able to do without any guilt or pressure put on you by your family. I personally think that having a baby, going through labour and all the stressful and emotional points that go with it, should be at least the one time where a woman should say and do what she wants and not have to think of others, and not have the pressure to.

I want a visitor free 3 day period with this baby. MIL doesn't know this yet, and it will be an issue (first grandchild for her). Already we have said we are going to keep the babies name to ourselves so it's a surprise after the birth, even though MIL knows the sex, she can't get over not knowing the name and literally rings my DP 4 times a day asking him to tell her and throwing heaps of names at him, asking if it's the one. She doesn't realize all she is doing is making me glad that I am having my 3 day visitor free period and making me much more determined to keep the name to ourselves. I worry if she is acting like this about the name, what is she going to be like with the baby. So she's effectively shooting herself in the foot. There is other issues also like them unable to visit without 4 dogs they treat like babies are go all over my furniture and think nothing is wrong with letting the dogs lick a baby...they refuse to put the dogs in a kennel or even leave them outside at my house or EVEN on the floor at my house, they have to sit on the lounges. I have dogs that I don't allow to do all this! So I can foresee problems but I'm determined no matter who I offend that my wishes are to be respected and DP knows this and better support me or else . I have also heard her and SIL really critisize and scrutinize other mothers in the family that have just had a baby, so I"m not giving them the opportunity to come in and stay with me and watch everything I do until I am damn well ready.

I'm sharing this with you to let you know I have a much less severe situation than you and I am still taking the visitor free period. THis is DP's first baby and I want us to have time to get used to this massive change in our lives, as well as my children. I refuse to feel badly about it, I'm the one doing all the work and I deserve to have a choice of when I am bombarded with visitors.

The nursing baby thing is a hard one too, and when DS was born, they told me not to pass him around for cuddles as it tired him out (he had a bad birth), so your DH could always use that exuse . I also had stringent rules about people washing their hands before holding my newborn and if they were sick they were to stay away, I offended people doing that, but that was their problem....I washed my hands constantly, why should I not ask them to just because it offended them?

My perspective is a bit different, but I think the last thing a heavily pg woman should have to worry about is what you have to right now....this is YOUR and DH's time Ryn, and you claim that and don't feel bad about it.

Good luck hun