BG you sound very organised and that list system sounds like a really good way to go about the whole baby shower/gift giving situation.

I think I would still feel uncomfortable doing that and that's why I am on the fence about a baby shower. If people buy things for Dot anyway, that's great and it will be hugely appreciated. But I can't get past the feeling that holding a baby shower is basically a socially acceptable way of holding my hand out (even though I know most of my friends/family wouldn't see it this way and I haven't thought this about friends who have previously had baby showers!).

I also have some guilt about asking people to travel just to see me before the baby when maybe they would prefer to wait until there is also a baby to visit as well KWIM? Having a baby shower might make people feel obliged to travel twice!

Oh I dunno.......it's all too hard.