I loved my mum and had a great relationship with her but never had her at either of my DDs births. She never expected to be included and was always the first person I called when the bub had been born.
Since she has died and I have spilt from my 1st husband I kind of wished she had been there for DD1's birth cause then there would have been someone besides me who remembered the birth but its no big deal.
I think its rude of her to expect to be there, I certainly don't expect my DDs to have me at their births.
I will be having my mum (along with my DH) - but we have set some ground rules for her - ie DH is the primary support etc. when Blake is born - she can have a quick cuddle (after us) and then she will leave us alone as a family to bond etc.
I always wanted more than one support person, both DH's sisters have complained their DH's wore out too quickly and had to be roused on several occaisions LOL
In the end its your decision and like it or not your mum has to respect that.
No way - my mum is not going to be there when I deliver!! It's not that we don't get along, I just wouldn't be comfortable with her in the room.
Plus giving birth to my son & meeting him for the first time is going to be so special for my DH & I - I don't want to share that with anyone!!
That being said she hasn't asked to be there so I never had to tell her that she wasn't welcome. Your mum should understand that it's your decision though.
I think it's a bit odd that your mum had an expectation that she would be there? Don't take this the wrong way, but surely she should be taking your lead on things and supporting your decisions?
Me and my husband made the baby, we will parent the baby and we will bring the baby into the world. I also want to make sure after baby is born that we get some time just the three of us before the grandmothers swoop! In fact, we've made it clear that they aren't to come to the hospital until we say we are ready.
I think you just need to stick to your guns and make it clear that you expect your mum to support your decisions, whatever they might be.
No way do I want anyone but DH there. Luckily mum never had any desire to be in there - She says that she has been in the labour ward too many times in her life as it is (she had seven labours herself). My MIL had to be told quite firmly and repeatedly both times that she was not allowed to come in - I think she has finally got the hint, because she hasn't even suggested it once this pg.
You may change your mind once you are in labour, particularly if it's a long one like I had (17 hours full on labour).
My partner and I agreed it would be just us in the labour ward.
After a day of prelabour & 6 hours of labour at home and a few at the hospital I realised my partner had called his mum & my parents & they were all on the way to the hospital. He asked if it was OK if his mum could come in. At first I was a bit shocked as we had agreed on having just us. He talked me into it pretty quickly though & I'm actually glad she came in. She gave heaps of support & rubbed my back & stuff & if he needed to have a break (like to go to the loo or have a smoke) it meant I always had someone with me. When my parents arrived they came in and out but when the actual birth happened I got the middy to get everyone except my partner to leave. That worked really well.
My mum lives in the UK but there's no way in the world that I would have had her in the delivery room with me in any case.
If and when DD gives birth, however, she will have to barricade the door to stop me being there ... and I imagine DP won't be far behind me. Poor girl LOL.
My mum was there for most of the labour, i was induced at 7am and she had to get a bus from country vic so she go to me around 12 noon and had emerg cs at 2132.
She was not in the way she went out for smokes and went and got DH drinks etc
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