I have also been in a similar situation. A really good friend of mine has been TTC w/o success and 1 miscarriage. My DH and I weren't even trying we just weren't being careful and ..... March 3 we become 3! I was very worried about telling my friend for similar reasons mentioned by you and the other girls and we waited until we were 12 weeks to say anything also. She said she was really happy and excited. We had dinner a few days later and her and her husband did not mention my being pregnant at all! So we didn't either. Then i didn't hear from her at all....so i rang her and eventually she called me back....we talked about the baby but also kept the conversation as normal as possible. Everything seems to be ok at this stage. I am very aware of her situation and therefore i work on the same theory as Ryn....if they bring the pregnancy up then i'll talk about it, if they don't...then i don't. I try to sway the conversation at times to talk about her life so she doesn't feel left out, iykwim. I'm sure your friend is genuinely happy for you but i can imagine it would certainly raise some very raw emotion. I think if you just treat your friend as always and talk about your pg when she asks and also keep things more 'normal', hopefully, you will be able to make it through this. Good luck.